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September 28th, 2007


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06:26 pm - Charlie Meets MySpace: MySpace Survives
"What, this is all you get? All these ads?" Charlie asked, waving irritably at his new MySpace profile page.

"Yeah, pretty much," I said.

"Who the hell is Tom?" he asked. "Is he like everyone's friend?"

"I think Tom's the owner or founder of MySpace," I told him. "Everyone is automatically Tom's friend. I delisted that fucker immediately."

"Really?" Charlie said with mock surprise, "But Tom seems like such a nice guy!"

"Tom's a friend list whore," I muttered. "Okay, now bring up MrsVeteran so you can friend me."

Charlie attempted a search for Mrs. Veteran in the MySpace search box. I looked over at the search results page that appeared to have almost, but not quite, entirely no resemblance whatsoever to his search terms.

"No, no, put it in the address bar of your browser," I told him. "www.myspace.com slash mrsveteran. Pull it up that way."

He gazed helplessly at the screen full of shiny, leaping things. "But, but," he protested, "Then I'd lose this!" he waved at his profile page.

"Oh, okay, first you have to pick a MySpace name so you can come back to here," I said. "Click here where it says 'click here to create your MySpace name'."

"Oh that?" he said, reaching for the mouse. "I thought that was an ad. Everything on here looks like an ad."

"Just click it."

He did.

"Okay, now pick a username."

He attempted his real name. "Sorry, that username has been taken! Please try another."

He attempted "grandpoobah." As I told him, that one was also taken.

Oddly, "isthisfuckingtaken" turned out to, indeed, be taken. (M/22/AU)

I left for awhile to come back and find Charlie glaring at the screen and typing "threepoundcockandtrustfund" into the box. Sadly, that was too many letters, and "threepoundcockandtrustfu," while sounding like an unusual and esoteric martial art of some kind, wasn't acceptable. He changed the "three" to a number 3, and then said, "No, I can't do that," and sat back.

"Hm, yeah," I agreed, "Might be hard to explain to the nieces and nephews about how you enjoy raising roosters for a hobby while practicing Trust Fu on the side."

After some time, he decided that settling for a MySpace name with no innuendo, obscenities, or other interesting things would probably be for the best, although I was a bit wistful that he'd decided to abandon Trust Fu. He also abandoned poor Tom, his very first MySpace friend. Well, you know how it is: you grow and you move on, and sometimes, you must leave some behind. (Let us all shed a tear for poor Tom, now bereft of Charlie's friendship.)

And thus it was that Charlie was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the chaos that is MySpace. It's something that seems to run in his side of the family. I hope it's not genetic.

(15 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:blackbirdshaq
Date:September 29th, 2007 03:55 am (UTC)
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Well, you know how it is: you grow and you move on, and sometimes, you must leave some behind. (Let us all shed a tear for poor Tom, now bereft of Charlie's friendship.)

*wipes a tear from her eye*

Yeah. I outgrew Tom in the first 5 minutes too. He's a dick.

Welcome Charlie to the place of useless bling and spammage!

I bet he'll get lots of random Polish guys trying to date him.

I know *I* did.
[User Picture]
From:angelgypsy38
Date:September 29th, 2007 04:52 am (UTC)
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I am SO adding you to my friends. Even though I really don't do much with my Myspace.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 29th, 2007 05:52 pm (UTC)
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Hahaha! I don't do anything with MySpace except occasionally keep up with friends and family who are on there. I only made the account to keep up with my bro and sis-in-law and the nieces and nephews and so forth.

MySpace kinda scares me.
[User Picture]
From:angelgypsy38
Date:September 29th, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, scares me too. I've had some real freaks message me. But I started a new account so that I could try to keep up with a bunch of the friends on my mom group and such.
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 29th, 2007 05:52 pm (UTC)
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Haha! Yeah, he sort of knows who you are. Did he accept it or reject it?
[User Picture]
From:histygirl
Date:September 29th, 2007 09:03 pm (UTC)
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Tom is my only friend at this point. I joined MySpace so i can keep up with famous people that i stalk. Um... yeah. Heeheehee. That's cute right? I mean, other people do that. Other cute, harmless people like me.

*angelface*
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 30th, 2007 03:22 pm (UTC)
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It's adorable.

No, really.

It is.
[User Picture]
From:diachrony
Date:September 30th, 2007 04:16 am (UTC)
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Dude, I sent a whiny rant to a friend this morning, which I always seem to do everytime I visit MySpace, a rare occurence because I hate that place SO SO SO MUCH, but she & her daughter are the reason I even have an account, so everytime I try to make some sense of MySpace and can't, I email her wailing about it asking her to tell me the simple step that *must* exist somewhere that I've just been too thick to decipher that will allow me to actually keep track of what my friends are posting in their "blogs" without having to manually click through to everyone I have added ... like, is there a "friends list" option on the damn thing?

(I love how I typed all of that without pausing for breath.)

The only thing I can think of that MySpace is good for is finding new music. And obviously I don't use that option.

I didn't know I was "allowed" to de-list Tom. I thought he used his friend status to make official announcements, or something.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 30th, 2007 03:22 pm (UTC)
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Hahahaha! And did she tell you that there's a "subscribe" link so at least you can get an email when they post something new? That's what I did. Then if they post I can go see it.

You can find music on MySpace? (Besides the automatic music half the people seem to have on their pages.)

Tom may use his friend status to do bulletins or something ... not sure actually. Never saw anything from Tom worth reading, tho'.

[User Picture]
From:diachrony
Date:September 30th, 2007 10:42 pm (UTC)
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No, my friend did not tell me about the "subscribe" link, I already knew about it but was hoping for something more like a "friends page." She says she's only using her MySpace to advertise her music.

I just spent a lot of time subscribing to everyone's blog. The stupid thing is barely any of my friends put any entries in their blog. Can one "subscribe" to get notified in email when a friend posts a bulletin? Because I haven't found that capability yet, if it exists, and mostly my friends post bulletins which I never know anything about unless I actually log in before they expire.

From what I understand, most of my friends who don't like MySpace really do just use it to find new bands and new music. MANY bands advertise on MySpace. I just don't know how people "find" them. Obviously there's some easy trick I don't know about and can't use anyway, so whatever. And there are a lot of celeb MySpaces. Jenna Fischer of "The Office" has a MySpace. (And so does Jenna Jameson, famous pr0n star.) Lots of others, including authors & comic book artists/writers etc. that I can't think of at the moment.

But MySpace is such an assault visually with the adverts, I honestly don't understand the popularity. ::sigh::
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 30th, 2007 11:06 pm (UTC)
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But MySpace is such an assault visually with the adverts, I honestly don't understand the popularity. ::sigh::

And you only get half the fun: it's just as assaulting auditory-wise as it is visually, since most people have music on their page that automatically starts playing when you load it with no way to turn it off. Some people even have two different music apps playing at the same time. ~shudder~

Different tastes, though. I'm sure there are a lot of people who look at LJ and go "ew."
[User Picture]
From:diachrony
Date:September 30th, 2007 11:16 pm (UTC)
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From what I hear (personally as well as second-or-third-hand), people don't go "ew" when they look at LJ ... they go "It's tooooooo HAAAAAARD!!!! *WAAAAAAH!!!!*"

WUSSES.

[User Picture]
From:stardragonca
Date:October 30th, 2007 06:09 am (UTC)
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Happy Birthday!

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