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March 4th, 2008


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05:21 pm - The Washer has Landed
For about the last -- oh, at least six months or more -- our washing machine has been attempting lift-off into orbit. It started, as most things do, with the spin cycle.

The washer would be going along, merrily agitating away, when suddenly, you could feel the vibrations from the other side of the house.

"What the hell?" asked sushirob at one point, whilst he and banshree were over participating in Bad Movie Friday.*

"Spin cycle," remarked Charlie, with his usual eloquence.

And so it was. Truly, the noise and movement from the spin cycle were an awesome thing to behold. Not only did it sound like the washer would, at any moment, achieve escape velocity, but it felt that way as well. And when I say "other side of the house," you must understand that it's an almost-5,000-square-foot house. So "other side" is really about a city block away.

Recently, our former houseguest returned for a weekend visit, and, like the conscientious person he is, attempted to wash the linens from the guestroom along with a few items of his own. Soon, as usual, the cheerful sound of badumpbaDUMPBADUMPBADUMPBADUMPBADUMPBADUMP could be heard throughout our happy home.

Of course, I didn't think anything of it, until later, wandering by, I noticed said houseguest looking perplexedly at a sopping wet mass of cloth lying in the washer.

"I think there's something wrong with the washer," he said, holding up a dripping pillowcase.

"Hm," said I, and checked the settings for potential user-error, knowing that "slow" spin tended to leave laundry in just that condition.

(Hey, man, get off my back! I work for an Internet provider -- user-error is the most common problem!)

Settings checked out, I attempted to set the machine for another spin cycle, but very little was accomplished besides noise. Moreover, upon quickly opening the machine, it was apparent that no spin was going on.

The next business day, I finally called an appliance repair man, and negotiated for Mr. Miyagi to come out to the house to check on the poor washer.

Mr. Miyagi was a somewhat diminutive gentleman of Japanese extraction. He showed up promptly, bustled into the house, turned the washer on, and after a few "ba-dumpBADUMPs" observed sagely, "That should not sound like that." After taking bits and pieces of the washer apart, alternately Hming and Ohing, he stood up, put the washer back together, brushed his hands on his overalls, and turned to me.

"Get a new washer," he said simply.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"You need a new washer. This one's shot. Cheaper to buy a new one," he said.

"Oh, really?"

"And next time, just get a cheap one. You don't need all these fancy settings." His contemptuous hand wave simultaneously expressed his extreme displeasure with the "extra rinse," "handwash," and "gentle" settings on the washer. "You never use them," he followed up.

I paid the man, and showed him to the door.

So this left us with a dilemma: no washing machine. Luckily, sushirob has connections, and could hook a sister up, yo!

Today, our lovely new washer was finally delivered. Thanks to the aforementioned connections, it's a bang-up, front-loading, super-cool-o, washer-o-rama. I am assured that it is capable of washing 16 pairs of blue jeans at one go. (Sadly, I only own about three pairs, so I'll have to take their word on that.) It has cycles for gentle, active wear, whites, and all sorts of things. It even heats its own water and has a "sanitize" setting!

At this very moment, it is washing a king-size down comforter.

Look upon me, ye mighty, and despair.**

Um ... and don't tell Mr. Miyagi what I got, okay?






*It was at this point that I realized that I had too many German penpals, since I started to write "Schlechte Filme Freitag," managed "Bad Movie," and then attempted to spell "Friday" as both "Freiday" and "Fryday."

**Is it sad that this is, so far, the most exciting thing in my life this week?

(9 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:ladyfox7oaks
Date:March 5th, 2008 01:46 am (UTC)
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Myagi can stuff it where the sun don't shine... Having an extra gentle wash for the silks is DEFINITELY on my "Must have" list for when I buy a washer!
[User Picture]
From:ladyfox7oaks
Date:March 5th, 2008 01:47 am (UTC)
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Come dancing on Saturday!!! I plan on getting up there- since the lesson is "Bolero" and I DO find that to be a lovely dance.... :)
[User Picture]
From:diachrony
Date:March 5th, 2008 03:03 am (UTC)
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I have 3 pairs of jeans, too. The 2 pr. "office and public wear" jeans and the "weekend shuffling about in unpresentable condition" jeans. They are never all in the washer at the same time! Just wondering ... does this new appliance of yours have a "small load" setting? I wouldn't expect king-size down comforters to come up in the laundry rotation all that often.

[User Picture]
From:siliconshaman
Date:March 5th, 2008 08:18 am (UTC)
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Ours did that...used to scare the living hell out of the cats when it hit spin cycle. Thing had a roar like a vulcan bomber taking off on afterburners! [which I've heard!]

I spent half a day reading around on various how-stuff-works guides etc, and then rebuilt it from the ground up.[washing machines are fundamentally simple things really.] But then I'm a geek like that. I had to resist like hell the temptation to mod the thing and 'overclock' it or something.

Mr Miyagi is right in a way.. all machines have at least one option you'll never use. Thing is, it's a different one for different people.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:March 5th, 2008 03:00 pm (UTC)
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Sadly, the part I needed cost more than the washer, or I would have considered rebuilding it.

Overclocking your washer sounds like fun! Maybe the spin cycle COULD break orbit!
[User Picture]
From:kungfubarbie
Date:March 5th, 2008 07:57 pm (UTC)
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if there ever was a washer to make it into orbit, it'd be yours!

what did you pick for bad movie night??
[User Picture]
From:alberonn
Date:March 5th, 2008 09:36 pm (UTC)
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The spin cycle on ours is kinda like that too, but it's been doing it for many years now, so I'm not really worried. Only when the load is "unbalanced" (like my mental state)
[User Picture]
From:sweeetpeaches
Date:March 6th, 2008 04:41 am (UTC)
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I am pea green right now.
I lust after your washer! and have been for several years now. My washer went caput, hmmmmmm 10 months ago now, soon maybe I'll be able to get a new one, that is after the roof. You have the washer I want- the one that does 16 pairs of jeans, I don't own that many myself but my kids sure do!

From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 4th, 2008 02:21 am (UTC)

uses for a bad dryer

(Link)
Keep the old one, I'm thinking you have a build in dual purpose sex toy and dryer now... Put a load in, hop on top and hold on for dear life....

But what would you expect from a Crazy Viking?

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