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November 3rd, 2008


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10:59 am - PALIN WINS!
The annual company Halloween Party costume contest, that is. You see, after showing up the year before last as "Math Professor with a Pop Quiz" and flunking Satan at maths, I had a tough time thinking about what could possibly be scarier. I mean, come on -- math professor? With a quiz you hadn't studied for? In Base EIGHT?

Yeah, that's right baby: terrifying, I know.

After having won the costume contest the previous year with "Glambo" (nothing like a hot chick with an AK-47 to strike terror into the hearts of the evildoer), and having had to leave the party early (thus missing the contest I would surely have won) in the year of the Math Professor, I knew I had to come up with something even better. Even more terrifying!

I agonized over this for long and intense minutes.

And LOTS of 'em!

Really, though, my choice was clear: there's very little that frightens me more than Vice-Presidential-Candidate Sarah Palin -- unless it's "President Sarah Palin."

I'll pause here for a moment while those of you who agree with that image run screaming.

And so, girded with red jacket, flag pin, cheap reading glasses that, in one of the greatest ironies of all time, I picked up at the grocery store after early-voting for Obama, and beauty contestant sash reading "MISS MADAM PRESIDENT" (I was going to go with "Miss Diagnosed," but that, while funnier, wasn't nearly as scary), I advanced upon the unsuspecting partygoers.

Wanna see something REALLY scary?




Madam President


President Palin Closeup



As it turns out, there were two other Palins there, but neither of them were President. I got a great picture with the three of us doing "See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil" (thanks to banshree's awesome suggestion). I'll see if I can get their permission, and if so, I'll post it.

The little tiny pink ribbons you see stuck to me are not part of the costume: they are votes. Everyone got a little ribbon when they arrived at the party, and we had to pin the ribbon on the person we thought had the best costume. Later in the evening, all the votes were tallied and winners chosen.

When they asked how many ribbons I had, I said "All of them." And winked. I'd say about 40% of voters caught that, due to the number of people rolling on the floor laughing.

Shortly after the awarding of the prizes, Palin II poked me and asked, "Hey! How come YOU won and I didn't?" I looked her straight in the eye and said, "You're just Governor/VP Candidate Palin. I am President Palin. Therefore, I am the scariest motherfucker in the room." Of course, she had no choice but to agree.

We chatted for awhile and toyed with the idea of showing up at the real Palin's rally this evening, dressed in our Palin costumes, and wearing "Palins for Obama" sashes, but finally decided against it.

Thus, another year, another Halloween party, another terrifying entry, and another win for yours truly.

Just think of what I could do if I ever started thinking about my costume earlier than two days before the party!


(27 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


(Deleted comment)
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From:mrsveteran
Date:November 3rd, 2008 07:41 pm (UTC)
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You are so sick and twisted ...

You BETCHA! *wink*
[User Picture]
From:diachrony
Date:November 3rd, 2008 08:18 pm (UTC)
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Icon of awesomeness!!
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From:diachrony
Date:November 3rd, 2008 08:19 pm (UTC)
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When they asked how many ribbons I had, I said "All of them." And winked.

::DIES LAUGHING::

::WIPES TEARS::

You're awesome. :-)
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:November 3rd, 2008 08:23 pm (UTC)
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Hehe! Thank you, my dear. We live but to entertain. :-)

Yer darn tootin'!
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From:msretro
Date:November 3rd, 2008 08:23 pm (UTC)

"All of them."

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Heheee... that's awesome.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:November 3rd, 2008 09:35 pm (UTC)

Re: "All of them."

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*snicker*
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From:charleeg
Date:November 3rd, 2008 08:55 pm (UTC)
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OMFG I laughed so hard I think I peed a little. I'd vote for you but would probably have to assassinate you shortly thereafter, so will settle for Obama instead.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:November 3rd, 2008 09:35 pm (UTC)
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The funniest thing is, I don't look anything at ALL like Sarah Palin, but everyone was going, "OMG, you look EXACTLY like her!" It was a great party, though. :-)
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From:charleeg
Date:November 3rd, 2008 09:55 pm (UTC)
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Are they BLIND? You're gorgeous - she's umm, really fucking scary. Sounds like the party was awesome. It's been a while since I went to a good one. The agency I worked for in Memphis did their major fund-raiser as a Halloween costume ball - it was like Gay Christmas and every rich queen in town came dressed to the nines. My first year, one table was the Gilligan's Island cast and another came dressed as Dead Presidents (assassinated presidents & their wives with all the gore intact). That was the year The Peabody Fountain won. The next year, a bunch of bears dressed in flannel shirts & overalls with stuffed animal sheep sewn to the crotch won. They took over the dance floor and it was beyond hilarious. My best friend and I went as Jake & Elwood, Mutt & Jeff & Fruit Flies (wings & antennae LOL) the times we dressed up for it.
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From:alberonn
Date:November 3rd, 2008 09:36 pm (UTC)
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Nightmare! NIGHTMARE!!!
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From:mrsveteran
Date:November 4th, 2008 01:40 am (UTC)
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*lol*
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From:xviragox
Date:November 4th, 2008 12:32 am (UTC)
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Oh lord. One of these days I have to meet you. And keep you.
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From:mrsveteran
Date:November 4th, 2008 01:40 am (UTC)
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Do you love my new icon?
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From:xviragox
Date:November 4th, 2008 01:53 am (UTC)
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I'm humping it as we speak.
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From:mrsveteran
Date:November 4th, 2008 04:53 am (UTC)
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Oooh, baby!
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From:siliconshaman
Date:November 4th, 2008 01:01 am (UTC)
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They're right....that is one mo'fo scary costume!!!

Strangely attractive in a "OMG run away!!" kinda way... a very deserving win indeed!
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From:mrsveteran
Date:November 4th, 2008 01:41 am (UTC)
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Haha! Yeah, I got "wow, you look great" and also "I think I just threw up in my mouth a little."
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From:eyetwitchy
Date:November 4th, 2008 02:31 am (UTC)
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Love. It.

We had Joe the Plumber and a Proctologist. Joe and the Proctologist discussed going into business together.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:November 4th, 2008 02:33 am (UTC)
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One of the other Palins brought Jo the Plumber as her date.

It was all very bizarre.
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From:stardragonca
Date:November 4th, 2008 02:50 am (UTC)
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Sinks and Stinks.
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From:stardragonca
Date:November 4th, 2008 02:49 am (UTC)
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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!
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From:mrsveteran
Date:November 4th, 2008 04:52 am (UTC)
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Run away! RUN AWAY!!!!
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From:fabledbrewer
Date:November 4th, 2008 01:58 pm (UTC)
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So I don't get it - is that a Tina Fey costume?

Politics is hard!
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From:mrsveteran
Date:November 4th, 2008 03:34 pm (UTC)
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Heh. Several people saw me and said, "Hey! Tina Fey!"
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From:angelgypsy38
Date:November 4th, 2008 02:40 pm (UTC)
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OMG! FTW! I heart you MrsV!!!!
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From:mrsveteran
Date:November 4th, 2008 03:35 pm (UTC)
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Haha! I ::heart:: you right back, babe!

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