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May 26th, 2006


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07:42 am - Interlude: Scaring the Neighbors
I believe I've mentioned before that scaring Charlie's co-workers is one of my super-powers, but so far, I've not used those powers on our neighbors.

Now, Charlie and I have a lot of weapons. As I've also related before, Charlie goes out shooting every so often. Going out shooting generally involves Charlie making several trips to the truck with several long black gun cases and assorted military-looking equipment and bags of ammo and so forth.

He goes out. He's gone for the day. He comes back, and unloads all the weaponry.

I should also note, for the record, that our house is on a very large lot in a cul-de-sac, and has a sort of paved, almost parking lot, in front of which is a thick, white gate, bearing a sign that says (and I am NOT making this up) "Lebanon House." ("Lebanon House" was left over from when my mom was going to turn the house into a bed and breakfast, and the "Lebanon" refers to a bible verse of some sort that I think is something like "by the cedars of Lebanon I shall take my rest" and does not refer to some sort of terrorist camp. I think the very fact that I have to explain this, however, probably indicates that we should, at some point, take that sign down.) Over the white gate and past the "parking lot" is a tall hedgerow with an iron gate in the gap between the hedges, through which you can almost see the house.

Really, if I didn't live here, I'd be thinking, "Whoa! Mini Waco without the concertina wire!"

I have, to be honest, considered adding concertina wire, just to add to the ambience. But I digress.

This morning, Charlie was packing up to go visit his brother in Oregon for the weekend, and he asked me to carry out one of the gun cases since his hands were full.

"Our neighbors must wonder if you're some kind of hit-man or something," I said, as we walked out to the truck. "I mean, you're always going out with tons of weapons, and then coming back later in the day or a couple days later."

Charlie grinned. "Yeah, I wonder what they think of that," he replied. "Maybe that's why we rarely get visitors."

I thought for a moment, and then started giggling uncontrollably.

"What?" Charlie asked.

"Well," I said, trying to speak through the laughter, "I ... I ...."

I lost it.

"WHAT? WHAT?" Charlie repeated.

"I ... was just thinking of yelling, 'Try to get the right guy this time, honey' as you drove off," I managed to say before I doubled over in a fit of hilarity.

Charlie thought that was pretty funny too. I really, really, REALLY wanted to do it.

But I didn't.

Because, you know, sometimes you have to be gracious and avoid scaring the neighbors any more than you already do with your very existence.

I think this weekend I'll take the Lebanon House sign down. Or at least, put up some concertina wire.

Decisions, decisions.

(15 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:teh_attack_owl
Date:May 26th, 2006 03:21 pm (UTC)
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That would be so awesome. DO IT!

I can send over some crime scene tape. You can put it up when you go on vacation or something.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:May 26th, 2006 03:46 pm (UTC)
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BWAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Okay, yes. Yell, "Try to get the right guy this time, honey!" Then a couple of days later, put up the crime scene tape.

AND some concertina wire!

Oh man.

I am SO going to hell.
[User Picture]
From:teh_attack_owl
Date:May 26th, 2006 06:46 pm (UTC)
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Save me a seat, would you?
[User Picture]
From:cookiegirlie
Date:May 26th, 2006 03:43 pm (UTC)
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Add the wire.

Oh, and start waving at the neighbors. That should freak them out.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:May 26th, 2006 03:47 pm (UTC)
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No, no. Not wave. Just turn around really quick and go, "HEY! Are you LOOKING at me??? I SAID, are you LOOKING at ME?"
[User Picture]
From:sushirob
Date:May 26th, 2006 04:02 pm (UTC)
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I've thought that sign should go since the first time I saw it. Confused the hell out of me, because that is exactly the first thought that ran through my mind.

Maybe you can open the blog up to suggestions for a new name :)
[User Picture]
From:plklives
Date:May 26th, 2006 04:24 pm (UTC)
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Instead of taking the sign down, you could "edit" it, perhaps to something slightly more innocuous, like "Lesbian House." The house *could* be a lesbian. You just never know. And then maybe change it up seasonally, to something like "Little House (on the prairie)" or "La Dolce Vita House."
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:May 26th, 2006 05:23 pm (UTC)
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DUDE!

"LESBANON HOUSE!!!!!"
[User Picture]
From:plklives
Date:May 26th, 2006 05:48 pm (UTC)
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HAHAHAHA! Yes! Omg, that would be terrific. You should do it quietly, in the middle of the night (ninja outfit!), and see how long it takes the neighbors to notice.
[User Picture]
From:teh_attack_owl
Date:May 26th, 2006 06:47 pm (UTC)
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This reminds me of Christmas last year at my house. Mom got one of those sets of stocking hangers for the mantle that spell "SANTA." They're individual hangers, so I did some rearranging and Christmas morning we awoke to "SATAN" on the mantle.

Yay for the evil of creative respelling.
[User Picture]
From:sushirob
Date:May 26th, 2006 07:50 pm (UTC)
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I knew there was a reason I like you.

[User Picture]
From:teh_attack_owl
Date:May 27th, 2006 04:07 am (UTC)
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Only one?
[User Picture]
From:kungfubarbie
Date:June 5th, 2006 08:51 pm (UTC)
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omg i'm sitting here at work pissing my pants. esp about this part:

"I ... was just thinking of yelling, 'Try to get the right guy this time, honey' as you drove off," I managed to say before I doubled over in a fit of hilarity.


I love you mrs v!!
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:June 5th, 2006 11:32 pm (UTC)
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Oh man, I was seriously laughing so hard over "Try to get the right guy this time" you have NO idea. It still makes me giggle to think about. hehe!
[User Picture]
From:kungfubarbie
Date:June 6th, 2006 02:47 pm (UTC)
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mrs V I wasn't there and re reading it this morning is still making me laugh.

it's a classic. it also sounds like something i'd say :)

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