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June 8th, 2006


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06:40 am - We Don't Say "Stupid"
I don't remember the occasion, but the whole family was out for a nice dinner at the Atlantis buffet. Mom, Dad, Charlie, my brother, Taylor and I were sitting around the table, plates loaded to the sky, and chatting about this and that. I believe Taylor was about four or five at the time: just old enough to behave on a dinner out, and not quite old enough not to need a booster seat.

It was all going famously, until, in response to something or other, Charlie said, "Well, that's just stupid."

Taylor's eyes got wide, and he looked at his dad and tugged on his sleeve. "Dad," he whispered urgently, "He said 'stupid!'" This was obviously something of a shock to him, based on his reaction.

My brother regarded Charlie with a grave and disapproving expression. "Um, we don't say 'stupid,'" he informed him.

Charlie looked puzzled. "Why the hell not?" he asked incredulously.

"Because it's not nice," he explained. "Calling someone stupid isn't nice, so we don't say 'stupid.'"

Taylor nodded in agreement.

"We don't say 'stupid,'" Charlie repeated.

"That's right," he confirmed.

Charlie thought about that for a minute.

"Can we say 'fucking retarded?'" Charlie asked.

From what I've seen, my brother never tried to censor Charlie again.

(17 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:cookiegirlie
Date:June 8th, 2006 03:08 pm (UTC)
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I hope he learned a valuable lesson that day.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:June 8th, 2006 03:28 pm (UTC)
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Yeah. "Don't tell Charlie what not to say or you'll get something a lot worse."

Hahaha!
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:June 8th, 2006 09:25 pm (UTC)
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Either that or "Keep your kids the hell away from Charlie."

[User Picture]
From:kungfubarbie
Date:June 8th, 2006 03:27 pm (UTC)
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hahahahaahahaha

so are you writing that book or NOT Mrs V???????
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:June 8th, 2006 03:31 pm (UTC)
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You know what's sad? This would be perfect for Reader's Digest if it weren't for the fact that the F-word is what makes it so funny.

Stupid Reader's Digest.

Reader's Digest needs more F-words, that's what I say. Liven it right up.

Fuckers.

Anyway ... eventually, if I get enough material for a book, I may put one together and send it out. :-)
[User Picture]
From:kungfubarbie
Date:June 8th, 2006 08:34 pm (UTC)
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so fucking true!
[User Picture]
From:zootnarf
Date:June 8th, 2006 03:42 pm (UTC)
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I am so using that one. It's frustrating enough that all of my friends now have little kids and can't do anything anymore, but to have to talk in smurf language all the time drives me batty.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:June 8th, 2006 04:40 pm (UTC)
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Hehe!

Honestly, we try to be pretty careful, but it's not like Taylor's never going to hear those words from other places.

[User Picture]
From:otterprincess
Date:June 8th, 2006 04:03 pm (UTC)

and I thought I was bad... *L*

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I adore your hubby muchly. *GRIN*

[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:June 8th, 2006 04:37 pm (UTC)

Re: and I thought I was bad... *L*

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I still can't believe I haven't blogged this before, but I downloaded all my journal entries and searched them and didn't find the word "retarded" at all.

So I guess this is a new one.
[User Picture]
From:xviragox
Date:June 8th, 2006 04:18 pm (UTC)
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Brilliant. :-)
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:June 8th, 2006 04:38 pm (UTC)
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Charlie always gets the best lines.

Except when I do.

Hahaha!
[User Picture]
From:passion_nymph
Date:June 8th, 2006 04:35 pm (UTC)
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I love your husband. /giggle.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:June 8th, 2006 04:38 pm (UTC)
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What a coincidence! I do too!

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:fabledbrewer
Date:June 9th, 2006 07:22 pm (UTC)
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I'm trying to decide if I should just forget about the whole "Charlie fan club" thing and just decide to nominate him for godhood and worship him instead. The man is brilliant!
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:June 9th, 2006 07:52 pm (UTC)
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You can even do a rosary!

Hail Charlie, full of chutzpah, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among cool dudes,
and blessed is the fruit of thy word "Motherfucker."
Holy Charlie, Father of brilliance,
cuss out the sinners now and at the hour of death.

Amen.

Or ... something.

(And please God don't ever let my Catholic mother see this comment. And, God, no offense to your Mom, the Holy Mary, mother of us all. Amen. Hm. What's that noise? Sounds like lightning, but there are no clouooowowwwwowoooooowwwwwwwwOOOOOOOWWWWWWW ...

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