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September 20th, 2006


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11:11 am - Mission Impossible: Part IV - The Stunning Conclusion
By now, I really wasn't very hopeful, but I tried to think positively as we entered the Mervyn's store. Rob led the way to the jeans, and we began our search.

Much to my surprise, we found all-one-color, boot-cut, normal-rise jeans in my actual size (well, what we thought was my actual size, which is to say, somewhere between 8 and 12) almost immediately. Laden with an armload of them, I trudged off to the dressing room to try them on.

The first pair, not bad, but still a bit "meh."

The second pair, ditto.

By the third pair, I was starting to have second thoughts about the whole thing.

By the fourth pair, I had something of an epiphany, chose a pair at random from the ones I'd tried on, and returned to where Rob waited patiently -- okay, not so patiently and with, I'm sure, an inordinate amount of sighing and eye-rolling, but let's just pretend he was patient -- by the jeans rack.

I handed him several pairs of jeans to put back, keeping the one I'd decided to buy.

"So, you found one, huh?" he greeted me.

"Yeaaaahhh," I said slowly.

"What, did you just decide to settle for something 'cause you're tired of looking or do those really fit?" he asked curiously.

I sighed. "No, they fit fine."

"Are they comfortable?"

"Yeah, they're comfortable."

"So why do you have that kicked puppy-dog look on your face then?" Rob asked, exasperated.

I sighed again. "Well, I figured something out in there, when I was trying on the last few pairs."

"And...?" he prompted.

"The problem isn't with the jeans. The jeans are fine," I replied. "In fact, probably most of the jeans were fine."

I paused and took a deep breath. "I just now figured it out. It's my body IN the jeans that I don't like!"

It was, sadly, true. Granted, I'd had my doctors urging me to gain weight for over a year. After many months of trying to eat more and put the weight I'd lost due to illness back on, I'd finally succeeded and was where I was "supposed" to be. But you know, I'd gotten so used to being skinny enough to just grab whatever and look like the pictures in the catalogs, it was something of a shock to be back to a more normal size. I had curves again, not just a pair of hipbones to hang some jeans off. I actually had, as the song says, "back." Even though I felt like I looked healthier, and better overall, well -- the catalogs and magazines didn't have people that looked like me on them, or at least, not the me with the extra weight.

The end result was, I just didn't look "right" to myself. However, recognizing that what I thought I "should" look like was, unfortunately, unhealthy, I decided to just grab some jeans and deal with it, hoping that my body image issues would work themselves out somehow.

Rob looked at me for a minute. "Uh, can't help you there," he said.

"Yeah, I know. And there's not really a lot I can do about that, so I figured I'd better just go with what fit and was comfortable."

We put the rest of the jeans away, and walked in silence over to the checkout stand to pay. The mission, as it was, was complete: I had obtained jeans that fit. I made a mental note that next time, perhaps I should add "and that I like the way they look" into the mission parameters. For now, however, it was accomplished.

And hey -- I got some fuzzy jammies out of the deal, so it's not all bad, right?


-----------------

Epilogue

The conventional wisdom in women's wear is this: if you find something that fits, don't just buy that one thing. Rather, stock up on several in the same size by the same manufacturer immediately. This goes for shoes, sweaters, dresses, skirts, and especially -- ESPECIALLY! -- jeans. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten this crucial bit of wisdom when I'd bought the one pair of jeans that I liked over a year ago. During our quest, I'd searched for the same manufacturer in the same style and size, but to no avail.

I was sitting at home, a bit bummed out over the whole jeans-shopping experience, when it suddenly hit me. One word, one tiny little word that could have saved me this entire miserable experience! One thing that could have made this all irrelevant and unnecessary. One thing so important and yet so common that I hadn't even thought of it.

I'm speaking, of course, of eBay.

I was horrified that I hadn't thought of this simple solution before! It was like not noticing that I'd measured the recipe for the sushi rice wrong until after making up an entire batch of it! What the hell was wrong with me?

I beat myself up mentally for a few minutes, before giving up and pulling up eBay on the web.

Tentatively, I typed in "Jones New York Sport jeans" and waited for the results. Sure enough, not only did several pairs appear, but they were all in the exact size and style of my own favorite pair! I could have avoided this entire debacle just by using eBay in the first place. Dammit. DAMMIT!

I stared at the screen for a few minutes, thinking of all the horror I could have missed. The hours in the dressing rooms, trying on pair after pair. The despair of seeing how nothing seemed to fit quite right. The agony of going out and trying again, all the while knowing that it would probably be an exercise in futility.

I took a deep breath and shrugged. After all, adversity builds character, right? Sure. Sure it does.

I hit a few Buy-it-Now buttons.

My new jeans should be here in a week.

Next time, I promised myself, next time, it would be eBay FIRST and damn the retail establishment!

I just hope I remember that next year when jeans shopping season comes again.

(13 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:kungfubarbie
Date:September 20th, 2006 08:40 pm (UTC)
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Ah the moral of the story: why leave home? Ebay!!

;)
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 20th, 2006 08:49 pm (UTC)
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No shit, huh?

Stupid fucking jeans.

We hates them!!!
[User Picture]
From:angelgypsy38
Date:September 20th, 2006 09:17 pm (UTC)
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We hates them too. I haven't ever had jeans that I felt like I looked good in and I would just as soon never wear them at all. I generally prefer leggings and tunics. I probably look twice as fat but at least I'm comfy.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 21st, 2006 02:10 am (UTC)
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I loooooove me some leggings and tunics, but they are not so great for camping and hiking, which I've been doing more of. You kind of have to have jeans for that. Leggings just get snagged or filled with stickers.

~sigh~

Stupid jeans.

STUPID MAGAZINES THAT MAKE ME FEEL FAT!!!

~whew~

Okay, I feel better now.
[User Picture]
From:angelgypsy38
Date:September 21st, 2006 02:51 am (UTC)
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For that I have some cargo pants I stole from TH. Bugle Boys. THey are the most comfy pants EVAR!!!one!! They are a bit ragged around the edges but I kind of like them that way. They also go well with my Anarchy/Peace Chucks. :D

[User Picture]
From:sushirob
Date:September 20th, 2006 09:35 pm (UTC)
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The conventional wisdom in women's wear is this: if you find something that fits, don't just buy that one thing. Rather, stock up on several in the same size by the same manufacturer immediately.

Sorry. You dont have that market cornered. Have you ever noticed my wardrobe? The only reason I have different colors is that they only have 2 or 3 of black before I have to get another color of something.

I wont bother to point out you are the normal size. Oh wait. I just did. damn it all to hell.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 21st, 2006 02:11 am (UTC)
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Did someone say something?
From:ipuhlot
Date:September 20th, 2006 10:51 pm (UTC)
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Eh, I'll stick to the cheap mens jeans at Costco. Anything else is obviously too much work, plus I get useable pockets....

Tho I do like eBay...
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 21st, 2006 02:13 am (UTC)
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Heh. Hey, all these jeans have usable pockets -- that's why I like them so much. I MUST have pockets. Have to, have to, have to.

The guys' jeans were just making me look a bit too well-hung this time around for some reason the way they pouched up around the crotch. I haven't really had that happen before, but maybe they're cutting them differently now.

I guess I could just stuff a sock down my pants and call it done ...
[User Picture]
From:diachrony
Date:September 20th, 2006 11:07 pm (UTC)
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Yay for jeans-shopping success!

I have never bought clothes off of eBay. Huh. ... But it's probably because I wouldn't know what size to look for. I only know what size pants I wear if they're from Land's End ... when it comes to pants, they're my reliable source (and I do buy from their online site.)

Hate hate hate clothes shopping in real-life stores. What a horrible experience!

It's interesting how you (& some others) mention buying men's jeans - the only times I've tried on men's jeans, they were obviously cut completely wrong for my body, and bunched in the crotch area in a way that indicated a suspiciously inappropriate physical endowment. ;)
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 21st, 2006 02:09 am (UTC)
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Hahahaha! There's some tricks to buying clothes off eBay. First, never, never, ever buy clothes from anyone that just lists something like "Size 8" unless you have that exact thing by that exact designer in that exact size. Always look for the ones that list the actual measurements of the garment, and compare them with something you own that fits.

Second, go to stores and try stuff on, and when you find something that fits, make note of the designer, manufacturer, and size and then search for THAT on eBay. It's almost always cheaper.

As for the guys' jeans, it really depends. Sometimes I can wear guys' jeans just fine, and other times, yeah, it makes me look like I have a package. Still, if you figure out that 34-30 is your size, then you can pretty much depend on that being the same for most guys' pants. It's just easier that way.
[User Picture]
From:passion_nymph
Date:September 21st, 2006 04:14 am (UTC)
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Pants shopping is evil. EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[User Picture]
From:otterprincess
Date:September 22nd, 2006 01:34 am (UTC)
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I hope your ebay jeans do it for you. I went back and read the whole thing. I think I'd have given up at some point. But you didn't give up! W00t!!

Most people look weird in jeans though. Have you ever noticed that? o.0

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