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There are ... FOUR CATS! - $blog = int(rand(@thoughts));

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November 20th, 2006


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01:01 pm - There are ... FOUR CATS!
Two cats, particularly if they're indoor cats, are really enough for one person and/or couple to handle. Two cats are perfect: they can keep each other occupied, they do less damage on the house from boredom, and, of course, there's the whole cat litter changing thing. Our two cats, Tomo and Boggs, were just fine and filled up the cat-shaped hole in our lives nicely.

One day, however, that was about to change. Charlie had been out on a flooring job of some sort, and when he came home, he regaled me with tales of the cute kittens at the house of said job, complete with description of their unbearable living conditions.

The kittens, he told me, were fed dog food out of the same bowls used by the Rottweilers. The kittens could barely get anything to eat due to the dogs pushing them out of the way! The place was filthy with cat and dog poop lying everywhere, and the kittens were ignored and neglected, not to mention in very PERIL of their LIVES.

I'm not stupid. I knew what was coming. I cringed internally as he waxed eloquent on the subject of the poor little kittens until finally, it came: the moment I had dreaded.

"Can we please just get one little kitten?" he asked, looking at me with the "I'm a sad puppy dog" look.


"Honey, we already have two cats," I told him firmly. "Two cats are enough, don't you think?"

"But just one more wouldn't be bad," he pleaded, and went on to describe in even fuller detail the impending doom of the poor kittens if we didn't take one.

This went on for some time, until finally, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Okay, okay!" I conceded, "You can have ONE kitten."

He thanked me and gave me a big hug. Nothing more was heard on the subject of kittens until that weekend, and I kind of forgot about the whole thing.

That Saturday, we had a blizzard of sorts. It was the kind of snowfall that makes it so you can only see about three feet in front of your face. I noticed that Charlie was throwing on his jacket, and appeared to be headed out the door. "Where are you going?" I asked. "The weather's crazy out there?"

"To get the kitten," he explained as though I should have known.

Oh. Yes. The kitten. I sighed a bit, then waved him off. After all, how much trouble could one little kitten be?

How much indeed.

After an hour or so, I heard Charlie's truck pull up, and moments later, he walked in the door. When he turned to face me, I didn't quite register what was happening. But suddenly, a small kitten face yawned at me from the breast pocket of his jacket.

I looked at him more closely. In one of the breast pockets, a tiny little black and calico face peered out at me curiously. In the other breast pocket, a tiny little black and white face and a tiny little white paw hung over the lip of the pocket.

The OTHER breast pocket?

I stared at him, and at the kittens for a few minutes, in shock at the enormity of what he had done. Finally, I managed to speak.

"Honey!" I said helplessly, "I said ONE kitten!"

Charlie pulled out the "I'm a sad puppy" look again, and hit me with the ultimate weapon. He sighed and said, "I know, I'm so sorry. I just couldn't decide. Here -- you decide which one goes back with the Rottweilers."

I looked Charlie straight in the eye. "You BASTARD," I said grimly. He just smiled at me.

I looked at the tiny little calico face which was now grooming itself with a tiny little calico paw, and at the other (dammit!) little tiny black face with the little tiny white-tipped paw hanging over the edge of the pocket. I steeled myself to be cruel and uncaring. Bravely, I hardened my heart against the kittens, and prepared to pick one at random. Then, I did what anyone would do in such a situation.

"Okay," I sighed, "I guess two kittens isn't that bad."

Oh you would, too. Except sushirob. Admit it. ADMIT IT!

And that, my friends, is how we acquired four cats.

(14 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:alberonn
Date:November 20th, 2006 09:20 pm (UTC)
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And I've got just one.

Nice TNG reference though. ;)
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:November 20th, 2006 09:33 pm (UTC)
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Oh, you noticed the reference, huh? 50 geek points to you! :-)
[User Picture]
From:alberonn
Date:November 20th, 2006 09:34 pm (UTC)
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Yay!
[User Picture]
From:plklives
Date:November 20th, 2006 11:46 pm (UTC)
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Hey hey! I noticed the TNG reference and mentally noted the ripped off "Big Brother says 2+2=5" quote from 1984. So there! I'm special too!
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:November 21st, 2006 12:11 am (UTC)
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Oooh! 100 Geek Points for the Orwell reference! Bravo, I say, Bravo!
[User Picture]
From:angelgypsy38
Date:November 20th, 2006 10:50 pm (UTC)
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I would totally be Charlie in that scenario. And TH would totally be the one standing there helpless against my begging with the kittens in hand.

We're currently down to one cat, after losing Donut and my sister FINALLY claiming her cat. But we're about to get another one from a friend who has to get rid of hers because she's allergic. Probably this week, in time for THanksgiving. I hope Spot adapts to him.
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:November 21st, 2006 12:23 am (UTC)
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I was too stunned to take pictures?

Somewhere I may have a picture of the Marine playing with the little kitten, though. I'll have to look around.
[User Picture]
From:plklives
Date:November 20th, 2006 11:54 pm (UTC)
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Oh my GOD, there is nothing more pathetic than orphaned kittens. And THEN you ramp it up with images of rottweilers and a blizzard? And THEN you have them peeking adorably and pathetically out of pockets? You could make an Xmas greeting card out of that and totally profit because it would be the most pathetic and tear-jerking card in the entire world.
From:ipuhlot
Date:November 21st, 2006 03:25 am (UTC)
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I woulda brought 'em all home...but then someday I'm gonna be on FARK as the woman with the 20 cats...
[User Picture]
From:diachrony
Date:November 21st, 2006 04:15 am (UTC)
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I had four cats! That's not too much!

Well okay ... pushing it slightly, maybe ... nah.

That is just the cutest story. I'm all wibbly over it.

(Two of my kitties were "planned," two were rescues.)
[User Picture]
From:siliconshaman
Date:November 21st, 2006 11:04 am (UTC)
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We have six cats... only two of which we planned.
One was born here, as result of one of the aforementioned cats getting out when she shouldn't have... and the rest, well you do the maths. Sob stories, every one.

Have I mentioned that our place is so small that in almost all of the rooms I can hold my arms out, and touch a wall either side, or reach up and touch the ceiling? That the council has rules stating that one is allowed One Cat or One dog [small].

Yes, we are mad here.
[User Picture]
From:xviragox
Date:November 21st, 2006 05:20 pm (UTC)
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Awww. Sadly, I have promised Mark no more cats after this one is gone, but I fully retain my right to have kitten rabies for the rest of my life.
[User Picture]
From:kungfubarbie
Date:November 27th, 2006 08:44 pm (UTC)
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yay kittens! good karma for you mrs v :)

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