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January 29th, 2007


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07:48 am - Out of the Darkness
It's funny, isn't it, how sometimes, even when everything is really fine, a small misunderstanding can get blown so out of proportion that it seems impossible to overcome? You can look around and say, "Hey, I have a roof over my head, a job, medical insurance (if you can call it that), enough food to eat, a loving family, and so forth," and somehow it still just seems as though everything is hopeless and dark and none of that means much.

Then there's the ever popular, "Hey, look at all the people who have it worse than you!" Of course, this doesn't really do much more than make you feel guilty for being sad or depressed when others are so much worse off.

In a way, sometimes I think a simple, "Sucks to be you" is the most cheerful and cheering thing you can hear. It's somehow an acknowledgement and a validation of the fact that, yes, sometimes it does, in fact, suck to be me, and that the suckery is unrelated to surrounding actual circumstances or whether or not things are really going fine.

What all this comes down to, I suppose, is that while most of the time, I'm pretty much upbeat, there are times that I descend unwillingly into the depths of despair and depression. Personally, I blame hormones and brain chemistry, not to mention drug interactions or side-effects. I can look at things completely logically and know that there's no reason to be down, but unfortunately, those tricksy chemical reactions won't let the logic do its job. The last month or so has been spent trying to keep my head above water in a proverbial emotional sea, and I think I've reached the shore.

Again.

For those of you who've supported me through this whackery, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. For those of you who also suffer from depression from time to time, I'm posting this publicly and not friends-only just to say you're not alone.

Now. Did I ever tell you the story of my cat Pouncer and the "back rubs" trick?

(20 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:sushirob
Date:January 29th, 2007 05:15 pm (UTC)
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Now. Did I ever tell you the story of my cat Pouncer and the "back rubs" trick?

Many, many times.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:January 29th, 2007 05:34 pm (UTC)
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You don't count.
[User Picture]
From:ktkatrina
Date:January 29th, 2007 05:54 pm (UTC)
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"Now. Did I ever tell you the story of my cat Pouncer and the "back rubs" trick?"

no, but you've got me intrigued. :o)

oh, and "Sucks to be you."
I hope things start to look up for you.
[User Picture]
From:angelgypsy38
Date:January 29th, 2007 05:58 pm (UTC)
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What she said.

And *smack* You're supposed to email me or something when you feel like that. Never forget that again or I'm coming down there. *looks stern*



*falls over laughing*

Sorry, I tried to say it with a straight face.

I do mean it though. You have been there for me so many times I've lost count and if you don't let me return the favor I'll be really hurt and insulted. Seriously.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:January 29th, 2007 10:46 pm (UTC)
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I'll try to keep that in mind next time. You may regret the offer, though. heheh!
[User Picture]
From:angelgypsy38
Date:January 30th, 2007 12:40 am (UTC)
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I never regret being there for a friend.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:January 29th, 2007 10:45 pm (UTC)
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Heheh. Thanks. Things are definitely looking up. :-)
[User Picture]
From:plklives
Date:January 29th, 2007 09:49 pm (UTC)
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Man, I'm sorry. It's awful to be down for any reason, and the health stuff alone would be reason enough to have any one of us right down there with you.

So, does the cat give backrubs? That sounds fantastic! I am all for tricking animals into becoming personal servants, so I hope that is it! Seriously!
[User Picture]
From:alberonn
Date:January 29th, 2007 10:27 pm (UTC)
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It always helps to have your feelings validated, bad or good.

Just remember that bad times make the good times seem sweeter.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:January 29th, 2007 10:46 pm (UTC)
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True. Very true. :-)
[User Picture]
From:diachrony
Date:January 29th, 2007 10:46 pm (UTC)
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I'm glad you reached shore again. :~)

((hugs & thanks ~ for sharing!))

You have not told me about Pouncer. Did the kitty give you backrubs? Kitty backrubs are great!
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:January 29th, 2007 10:47 pm (UTC)
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I guess I'm going to have to blog it. I must have just mentioned it in the comments of someone else's blog sometime. (And of course, told sushirob about it. Shut up, sushirob!)
[User Picture]
From:photog42
Date:January 30th, 2007 06:02 am (UTC)
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Here's to sharing that loud sucking noise and those berms you can catch a breather on.
I hear you about the "sucks to be you". Sometimes people are so busy trying to convince you that everything is going to be okay that they don't really hear you. They mean well, but don't get how scary this shit can be. Or maybe they do, but have trouble dealing with it themselves.
So yeah, Crohn's sucks ass.
RA sucks. Bipolar sucks. FM sucks. MS sucks... Am I forgetting anyone?
Depression sucks.
We're a fucked up group. :P
But we kick ass!
Where was I?

The funny thing is, I've never felt guilty about others who seem to have things worse. I feel bad for them, but that doesn't mean I can't feel bad for myself. If you start falling into that, think about how silly it would be to tell someone that they can't cry because "they only broke their toe." Wuss! They have no right! So basically there would only be one person in the world that can feel bad about their situation at any one time. Of course that's using logic, and we all know that doesn't really work.

Anyway, I'm glad things are looking better. I know I don't end up reaching out myself much, but I'm always here if you need a ear, even if I'm in a crappy situation myself. The one doesn't exclude the other, since it's not a burden.
[User Picture]
From:blackbirdshaq
Date:January 31st, 2007 06:22 pm (UTC)
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The funny thing is, I've never felt guilty about others who seem to have things worse. I feel bad for them, but that doesn't mean I can't feel bad for myself. If you start falling into that, think about how silly it would be to tell someone that they can't cry because "they only broke their toe." Wuss! They have no right! So basically there would only be one person in the world that can feel bad about their situation at any one time. Of course that's using logic, and we all know that doesn't really work.

And once again your brilliant mind amazes me. *grins*

I'm so glad we're friends!

*zerbits you again*
[User Picture]
From:blackbirdshaq
Date:January 31st, 2007 06:18 pm (UTC)
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*hugs you*

I've been struggling too.

And I'm going to read your new manuscript this weekend. It's on my "to do this weekend or DIE BITCH" list. :D

*more hugs*

Sorry I didn't write sooner. I honestly meant to, but I've not been around here much myself. *L*
[User Picture]
From:stardragonca
Date:February 6th, 2007 04:52 pm (UTC)
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Sometimes you get the blues.Sometimes the blues get you.
Yours in co-suckiness.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:February 6th, 2007 05:02 pm (UTC)
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Hahaha!

For some reason, that made me think, "In Soviet Russia, Blues get YOU!"

And that made me laugh.

So thanks. :-)
[User Picture]
From:stardragonca
Date:February 6th, 2007 05:24 pm (UTC)
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You're very welcome,but I think I only get an assist on that one.:)
"I come to this country,I go to fancy restaurant.They ask me "How many people in your party?" I say,"Sixteen million...."
THEY MAKE ME SIT IN BOOTH IN CORNER!"
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:February 6th, 2007 07:20 pm (UTC)
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"FREEDOM IN A BOX! America: what a country!"
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:February 6th, 2007 07:36 pm (UTC)
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Oh, you did it. You made me wiki.

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