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April 8th, 2007


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10:01 am - The Power of Suggestion
"You need ID to buy those," the cashier at Raley's said as she rang up my fine-point Sharpie markers.

"Excuse me, what?" I replied, shaking my head a bit as if to clear out my ears.

"Yeah, you have to be 18," she went on, "it's a new thing. Because of the graffiti problem, you know."

I glanced at Dad. "Geez, shades of allergy medicine," I said. "At least they're not writing our names down in a log book for the DEA and taking our fingerprints. Yet."



Dad looked at me, then back at the cashier, flabbergasted. "You're kidding," Dad said. "You need to be over 18 to buy a Magic Marker now?"

"Oh, yes, even the little Crayola ones that wash off," the cashier confirmed solemnly.

Dad and I looked at each other again, shaking our heads, speechless. We stood there in silence as the cashier rang up the rest of our stuff.

"Paper or plastic?"

"Plastic," Dad replied.

We gathered up our groceries, including the potentially illicit Sharpies, and headed out of the store.

"You know what I want to do right now?" Dad asked, suddenly.

"What's that?"

"I want to take those markers, and go grafitti something!" he exclaimed. "I have never, in my entire life, felt the slightest desire to grafitti anything, but now ... "

"Yeah, I know what you mean," I replied. "Hey, while we're at it, let's go make some crystal meth out of some allergy medicine!"

"Yeah," he agreed, laughing and shaking his head. "Sounds like a plan."

"Thank God for our government giving us these new entrepreneurial ideas, huh?"

We drove the rest of the way home, laughing and shaking our heads.

----

ETA: Thanks to the most awesome merri_chan for the killer icon for this post.

(55 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:passion_nymph
Date:April 8th, 2007 05:57 pm (UTC)
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Leave it to the government.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:April 8th, 2007 06:06 pm (UTC)
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"FBI! We're here for your Sharpies! We have a warrant!"

"Um. You want the AK-47 too?"

"Naw, just give us your markers and you're free to go."
[User Picture]
From:passion_nymph
Date:April 8th, 2007 06:09 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Don't forget to turn over your pseudophedrine!

You AK-47 toting, Sharpie wielding, crackhead.
[User Picture]
From:sushirob
Date:April 9th, 2007 12:55 am (UTC)
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So does that make it illegal to buy sharpies for a minor?
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:April 9th, 2007 03:16 pm (UTC)
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Jesus, I didn't think of that. That puts a whole new light on parents buying their kids school supplies!
[User Picture]
From:siliconshaman
Date:April 9th, 2007 02:08 am (UTC)
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What the ever loving, nipple tweaking, shit eating, fucked up, incestuous bastard offspring of an anal retentive and a control freaking, FUCK! is you country coming to!

Sharpies are a controlled substance now!! What next?!
Crayons,
books,
cardboard and paint??!! [can't make protest signs then!]
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:April 9th, 2007 03:15 pm (UTC)
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I think whipped cream/whipped-cream-like-dessert-topping in cans are controlled substances too. Maybe something about kids huffing them for the nitrous?

And don't get me started on over-the-counter allergy medicine.

Oh, and by the way, can I quote you on this?

"What the ever loving, nipple tweaking, shit eating, fucked up, incestuous bastard offspring of an anal retentive and a control freaking, FUCK! is your country coming to!"

'Cause that's like one of the best and most elegant sentences I've ever seen.
[User Picture]
From:siliconshaman
Date:April 9th, 2007 05:53 pm (UTC)
(Link)
*grin*

By all means, please do... umm, you have heard of metaquotes ?

And what can I say, I was inspired...or really, really pissed off. Funny how those two are very close to one another.
[User Picture]
From:pie_is_good
Date:April 10th, 2007 02:08 am (UTC)
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Toliet paper, too. At least at my local grocery store.

(here from metaquotes...)
[User Picture]
From:kath8562
Date:April 10th, 2007 02:30 am (UTC)

Hey Shaman-

(Link)
Fancy following you from Metaquotes!

Don't get me started--
That allergy medicine is psuedophedrine. Since the meth heads make crystal meth out of it with ether and other assorted stuff, the Department of Homeland Security (really, I'M NOT KIDDING) regulates the stuff--it is placed behind the pharmacy counter,you have to give your licence and sign for it, and pay at the pharmacy counter. You don't have to go thru that much to get REAL controlled substances (besides getting a prescription for them).

Sorry, work rant (I work as a pharmacy technician)

Oh, and that was the most beautiful sentence I've seen you write, and you've written a few golden ones!
[User Picture]
From:rainbow_goddess
Date:April 10th, 2007 02:34 am (UTC)

Re: Hey Shaman-

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Another metaquote-ite here. I once went out of my way to go to two different stores because I literally needed to buy both allergy pills and drain opener and I was afraid someone was going to take me for a meth head. So I bought the allergy pills at one store and the drain opener at another.
[User Picture]
From:dropmedic
Date:April 10th, 2007 03:27 am (UTC)

What the ever loving...

(Link)
Yes, I AM rolling SO hard, as to make typing EXtremely HArd!! You RULE!!! Tears are rolling, my screen is a mess, (BILL to FOLLOW){hold tight: had to replace keyboard..., hell, your post was so good, I'll just install another one !!}My post should have said "siliconshaman", may I friend you, and interact with the international group to wich you belong ?? Second: I find your humor and reasoning to be sound... May we share humors???
[User Picture]
From:heatermcca
Date:April 10th, 2007 04:44 am (UTC)

Here via metaquotes

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HAHAHAHA! Bless you, Silicon. Bless you and your England-living, drum-beating heart. You've a BYOC waiting on you at the usual bar. mrsveteran, are you not also a previous Callahanian? If so, hello from another previous Callahanian; Jake's got a BYOC for you, too..
[User Picture]
From:plklives
Date:April 9th, 2007 05:37 am (UTC)
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When the cops come for you, hide your glue! I'm sure you only keep it around for huffing. And mouthwash should always be kept under lock and key. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:April 9th, 2007 03:16 pm (UTC)
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And the cough medicine. Kids can drink a coupla bottles and hallucinate!!!
[User Picture]
From:plklives
Date:April 9th, 2007 03:27 pm (UTC)
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If you eat enough poppyseed bagels, it's like doing opium!
[User Picture]
From:lirilith05
Date:April 9th, 2007 02:46 pm (UTC)
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Wow. I made the cut when I bought my Sharpies late last year. *L*

So, what evil uses do you have for those Sharpies?
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:April 9th, 2007 03:13 pm (UTC)
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Well, I *was* going to use them to mark the places for wraps on the stones I make into jewelry, but now I think I may use them to graffiti "You must be 18 or over to purchase this marker" all over town.

And, as long as I'm at it, I might as well put up some other important protest messages like "STOP PLATE TECTONICS" and "DOWN WITH OHM'S LAW."

Or, I could just use them to mark places for wraps, and maybe when I have free time, draw a raccoon mask on my dog.
[User Picture]
From:lirilith05
Date:April 9th, 2007 03:18 pm (UTC)
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All good uses. But I have a question: What does mark the places for wraps on the stones I make into jewelry mean?

Your dog likes to look like a raccoon sometimes? That's interesting. =P
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:ladyfox7oaks
Date:April 10th, 2007 07:04 am (UTC)
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Hope you don't mind, I've friended you... :)
Carson City here... :)
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:April 10th, 2007 03:55 pm (UTC)
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Hey, welcome, the more the merrier! :-)

Carson? No kidding? Maybe we can actually get together for coffee or something sometime. My Grandma and my Aunt live in Carson. :-)

Small world, ain't it?
[User Picture]
From:ladyfox7oaks
Date:April 10th, 2007 04:00 pm (UTC)
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Coffee sounds great! :) Yeah- it's a strange thing, the world is expanding and shrinking at the same time.. Or maybe that's just my perception of it.
[User Picture]
From:missdotti
Date:April 11th, 2007 02:51 am (UTC)
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I'm sorry, but this is only fueling my obsession with Sharpies. I feel a trip to Staples coming on.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:April 11th, 2007 01:05 pm (UTC)
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No!

NOOOOO!!!!

It's not worth PRISON! Think of the CHILDREN!
[User Picture]
From:kungfubarbie
Date:April 13th, 2007 09:09 am (UTC)
(Link)
dude.

that's all.

just..

dude.

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