Random IM Snippet #22

7:46 PM - sushirob: how the FUCK did you get me to start eating spam in the first place
7:46 PM - mrsveteran: Dude, I don't know how I do these things: I just do.
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: It's like innate talent.
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: If I question my powers, I shall lose them.
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: So I don't question shit.
7:47 PM - sushirob: talk about useless superpowers
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: "Spam-Eating Powers: ACTIVATE!"
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: "Form of ..."
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: "er .."
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: "Of ..."
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: "Someone ... eating SPAM!"
7:48 PM - sushirob: you need to work on your flair for the dramatic
7:48 PM - mrsveteran: You could be right.
7:48 PM - mrsveteran: Either that or get a better fucking superpower. I mean, geez.

I think we're done here...

I live in a world in which there exists ...

No, I can't say it. I can't. It's just too ... too much.

Too horrifying.

It is even more wrong than the Singing Frog.

AND the singing gorillas.

In concert.

What's that you say? Well, yes, you have a point. I should, indeed, face the darkness steadfastly, holding to hope that somehow, some way, the human race will survive despite all obstacles. Even this ... this evil ... can somehow be overcome.

I live in a world in which there exists ... a Chia Obama.

On a website which has A) autoplay sound and B) autoplay sound of "Hail to the Chief."

I mean, "Chia Obama" was wrong enough, but they had to put AUTOPLAYING SOUND on the site.

I weep.


The Word of the Day

"So, what's the word?" asked Dad when I got done with my doctor's appointment.

"The word," I replied after a moment, "is 'Ka-Ching'!"

"Ah," Dad said with a tone of commiseration in his voice.

After all, Dad once spent several weeks in the hospital, and is fully cognizant of "Ka-Ching" visits. While he was there, we'd often see doctors come into his room, pick up his chart, say, "How you doing today?" and leave, all in the space of less than a minute.

Doctors, by the way, that we'd never seen before. Doctors who had never seen Dad before. Doctors who, for all I know, may have just entered the wrong room or who were just going from patient to patient like some bizarre medical game of "Trick or Co-Pay."

We'd look at each other, then, in unison, blurt out "Ka-Ching!"

None of these visits were less than eighty bucks on the itemized bill Dad received much later.

So the "Ka-Ching" visit made its way into our normal vocabulary. Outside the hospital environs, such visits are characterized by the doctor A) not telling you anything you didn't already know and B) telling you to keep doing what you're doing and call if it gets any worse.

Oh, and telling you to "lose weight," "gain weight," "quit smoking," "take up smoking," "quit drinking," "take up drinking," or other sage bits of advice that generally fall under A) above.

And then you go pay your co-pay on the way out.

The worst kind of "Ka-Ching" visit is where you have something going on like internal bleeding, massive pain, appendages about to fall off, coughing up blood, or other kinds of things that you'd really hope a doctor would have something useful to say about.

But they don't.

And you're left hoping that whatever it is that's going on won't kill you before your next scheduled appointment -- around six months from now if you're seeing a specialist and if you're lucky.

On the other hand, my doctor is now well on his way to another Lexus payment.



Random IM Snippet #864

12:48 PM - mrsveteran: Steam says you've been typing a message for like an hour now.
12:48 PM - mrsveteran: I am expecting the Gettysburg Address or similar.
12:49 PM - mrsveteran: Or I could just disbelieve Steam, since it also says you're Away.
12:49 PM - mrsveteran: But I have to ask myself: would Steam lie to me?
12:49 PM - mrsveteran: What did I ever do to it?
12:49 PM - mrsveteran: Perhaps Steam is a malicious practical joker deep down inside.
12:49 PM - mrsveteran: The betrayal. The sheer BETRAYAL.
12:49 PM - mrsveteran: Fucking Steam.
12:49 PM - mrsveteran: I weep.
sushirob is now Away.
12:51 PM - mrsveteran: Oh, sure. Like I believe that Away thing now.


Random Announcements

"Garfield Minus Garfield" is beating XKCD for Best Online Comic. Dilbert is way behind. Get involved; vote here:

Rumor has it that much of the SF staff of Livejournal has been laid off. This may not be good for LJ as a whole. Back up your blogs. Just sayin'. I like LJbook, myself, but it seems to be busy. LJArchive has also been known to work. My suggestion is that you change your LJ password before and after you use these, though.

There's also a nifty Python script called "LJDump" that you might want to use if you know how to run a Python script. The main problem with ljdump is that it seems to dump *all* your blog entries, in order, in one directory, but without naming them by date or anything. So, you end up with "L-1,L-2,L-3..." and so forth. It dumps it in XML/plain text, so if worst came to worst you can at least read them. So far, it also seems to be grabbing comments. More info here, for the geeks in the audience.




I'm still sick. GRR. I'm partly back to work, though.

ETA: Another link with info about the LJ thing: (via diachrony. Thanks, babe! )

  • Current Mood
    exhausted exhausted

Happy 2009!

Man, I am soooo sick (stupid fluish viruses), but I want to wish everyone the best for 2009. 2008 was a really strange year: some really really horrible things happened and some really really wonderful things happened. Hopefully 2009 will even out on the good side.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Such is my life

It's 2:15am as I write this.

I have approximately eight-thousand Chapsticks in this house. I know this for a fact, because I buy another one practically every time I go to the store.

Sometimes, I buy two or three.

If I could buy Chapsticks in bulk, I probably would.

However, at this moment, I cannot find ONE freaking Chapstick.

Not one.

I'm sure you all can appreciate that this is, indeed, a huge motherfuckin' tragedy.

(Note to sushirob: "tragedy" is another good word to use in conjunction with "motherfuckin'." Add this to the collection. Just sayin'.)


Hell with it. I'm going to sleep.
  • Current Mood
    sleepy sleepy

I wish ...

I wish I had someone to share Tchaikovsky with. Particularly some parts of the Nutcracker Suite that tell me a completely different story than is told by the ballet.

Someday I want to tell those stories.

I just find it hard to imagine anyone wanting to hear them, or understanding them if they did.

The Best Christmas Present Ever: The Stunning Conclusion!

(Continued from here)

I was in the office one Wednesday after giving Jim a ride to pick up some prescriptions and then taking him home. Apparently, they'd had to cancel his chemotherapy and made him stay home from work for a few days because his white-cell count was too low. He was feeling sick and miserable. He could barely speak, and had a radiation burn/rash on his back from the treatments. You could tell he was trying to keep his spirits up, but the whole thing was getting to him. After all, the first of the year was only a few weeks away, and he was pretty sure that when it came, he'd be out of medical insurance.

I was still outraged on his behalf, and more than a little despondent since my plethora of phone calls really hadn't turned up much, but I was still hoping that someone would find out that Anthem couldn't do this after all. I mean, come on! It was the same company! The same exact damn company that covered him now -- how could they possibly get away with calling something a non-coverable condition when they were already covering it?

Of course, all this outrage was in vain. In the loophole vs. loophole battle, the insurance companies have got it down. They probably have teams of attorneys for each state whose sole purpose in life is to find just where the gaps are in the laws to make sure they can deny coverage to as many people as possible.

No, I'm not bitter.

Well, okay, yes, I'm fucking bitter. What's it to ya? Huh? You wanna piece of me?

Er ... sorry, where was I? Oh, yes. The office.
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