7:46 PM - sushirob: how the FUCK did you get me to start eating spam in the first place
7:46 PM - mrsveteran: Dude, I don't know how I do these things: I just do.
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: It's like innate talent.
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: If I question my powers, I shall lose them.
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: So I don't question shit.
7:47 PM - sushirob: talk about useless superpowers
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: "Spam-Eating Powers: ACTIVATE!"
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: "Form of ..."
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: "er .."
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: "Of ..."
7:47 PM - mrsveteran: "Someone ... eating SPAM!"
7:48 PM - sushirob: you need to work on your flair for the dramatic
7:48 PM - mrsveteran: You could be right.
7:48 PM - mrsveteran: Either that or get a better fucking superpower. I mean, geez.
"So, what's the word?" asked Dad when I got done with my doctor's appointment.
"The word," I replied after a moment, "is 'Ka-Ching'!"
"Ah," Dad said with a tone of commiseration in his voice.
After all, Dad once spent several weeks in the hospital, and is fully cognizant of "Ka-Ching" visits. While he was there, we'd often see doctors come into his room, pick up his chart, say, "How you doing today?" and leave, all in the space of less than a minute.
Doctors, by the way, that we'd never seen before. Doctors who had never seen Dad before. Doctors who, for all I know, may have just entered the wrong room or who were just going from patient to patient like some bizarre medical game of "Trick or Co-Pay."
We'd look at each other, then, in unison, blurt out "Ka-Ching!"
None of these visits were less than eighty bucks on the itemized bill Dad received much later.
So the "Ka-Ching" visit made its way into our normal vocabulary. Outside the hospital environs, such visits are characterized by the doctor A) not telling you anything you didn't already know and B) telling you to keep doing what you're doing and call if it gets any worse.
Oh, and telling you to "lose weight," "gain weight," "quit smoking," "take up smoking," "quit drinking," "take up drinking," or other sage bits of advice that generally fall under A) above.
And then you go pay your co-pay on the way out.
The worst kind of "Ka-Ching" visit is where you have something going on like internal bleeding, massive pain, appendages about to fall off, coughing up blood, or other kinds of things that you'd really hope a doctor would have something useful to say about.
But they don't.
And you're left hoping that whatever it is that's going on won't kill you before your next scheduled appointment -- around six months from now if you're seeing a specialist and if you're lucky.
On the other hand, my doctor is now well on his way to another Lexus payment.
12:48 PM - mrsveteran: Steam says you've been typing a message for like an hour now.
12:48 PM - mrsveteran: I am expecting the Gettysburg Address or similar.
12:49 PM - mrsveteran: Or I could just disbelieve Steam, since it also says you're Away.
12:49 PM - mrsveteran: But I have to ask myself: would Steam lie to me?
12:49 PM - mrsveteran: What did I ever do to it?
12:49 PM - mrsveteran: Perhaps Steam is a malicious practical joker deep down inside.
12:49 PM - mrsveteran: The betrayal. The sheer BETRAYAL.
12:49 PM - mrsveteran: Fucking Steam.
12:49 PM - mrsveteran: I weep.
sushirob is now Away.
12:51 PM - mrsveteran: Oh, sure. Like I believe that Away thing now.
Man, I am soooo sick (stupid fluish viruses), but I want to wish everyone the best for 2009. 2008 was a really strange year: some really really horrible things happened and some really really wonderful things happened. Hopefully 2009 will even out on the good side.
Happy New Year, everyone!
I wish I had someone to share Tchaikovsky with. Particularly some parts of the Nutcracker Suite that tell me a completely different story than is told by the ballet.
Someday I want to tell those stories.
I just find it hard to imagine anyone wanting to hear them, or understanding them if they did.