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September 13th, 2007

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07:58 am - Interlude: Dad ponders vegetarianism
"Hey, Dad," I said as I walked into his office, "I think we're going to be out there for quite awhile longer."

"Oh?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, we got the bike in the trailer, and the trailer hooked up to the RV, but when we went to hook up the trailer brake lights, there was sort of a problem. See, the end coming off the RV is a square-shaped thing, and the end coming off the trailer is a round-shaped thing. And this would be okay, because we have an adapter, but unfortunately the adapter and the ends of both connectors are female. So, the guys are out there now with screwdrivers, WD-40, and a wiring diagram."

Dad gazed at me for a moment in silence. "I'll leave the lights on for you," he said.

"Thanks, Dad." I turned to leave.

"Oh, hey," he stopped me, "Did you know they have this thing called 'tofurkey?'"

"Yeah, sure, they've had that for awhile," I replied.

"It's like turkey they make out of tofu!" he continued. "They make tofu into something that looks and tastes like turkey!"

"Yeah, yeah, tofurkey. You'd never heard of it?"

Dad shook his head. "No, I just heard of it today," he said, "and it kind of got me thinking: what are they going to call it when they make tofu into chuck roast?"

I don't think I've laughed so hard in a long time.
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(25 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:

[User Picture]
From:xviragox
Date:September 13th, 2007 04:27 pm (UTC)
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Genius.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 13th, 2007 04:42 pm (UTC)
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I have a serious Tourette's-like impulse to yell out the answer to the tofu chuck roast question today. It's very, very difficult to control.

I'm still giggling like mad every time I think of it.
[User Picture]
From:thediva_laments
Date:September 13th, 2007 04:51 pm (UTC)
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Your father is a very special man. And I'm not only saying that because I'm a vegetarian with a sense of humor.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 13th, 2007 07:26 pm (UTC)
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Hehe!

Yeah, Dad rules. :-)

I really want to get a tofu chuck roast now, just so I can have a bunch of people over and tell them what's for dinner.

Oh, man, I can NOT stop giggling over this!

Yes, I'm easily amused.
[User Picture]
From:diachrony
Date:September 13th, 2007 06:09 pm (UTC)
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That's even better than Turducken. Chicken stuffed into duck stuffed into turkey (and sometimes they stuff the chicken with sausage)!

Soooo ... what do you think they'd call a Tofurkey stuffed with Tofuckroast?

TOFUCKEY.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 13th, 2007 06:10 pm (UTC)
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*blinks*

...

BWAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAA!!!!
[User Picture]
From:diachrony
Date:September 13th, 2007 06:18 pm (UTC)
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Oh yeah, and if you can fit a Toficken in there, then you end up with Tofucken.

From:(Anonymous)
Date:September 13th, 2007 06:53 pm (UTC)
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I dunno MrsV, i think we should go there.

A contest for what to call a tofu chuck roast.

A chutofucker? Sounds like a disabling judo move. Makes you hobble.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 13th, 2007 07:05 pm (UTC)
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I'm partial to "tofuckroast," myself...
[User Picture]
From:histygirl
Date:September 13th, 2007 11:46 pm (UTC)
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How come i was anonymous?

Meh.

"Tofuckroast, perhaps to burn."
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 13th, 2007 11:58 pm (UTC)
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On days like today, I love my LJ friends list with a passion far beyond that of mortal understanding.
[User Picture]
From:histygirl
Date:September 14th, 2007 12:20 am (UTC)
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*tries to not skish you too hard*
[User Picture]
From:ladyfox7oaks
Date:September 13th, 2007 08:09 pm (UTC)
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Sounds like a bad James Bond villain to me...

"What do you want, Tofuck Roast? Do you expect me to talk?""
"Why no Mr. Bond, I expect you to die."
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 13th, 2007 10:48 pm (UTC)
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LMAO!

Oh my God, that almost made me fall out of my chair!

hahahaaaa!!!!
[User Picture]
From:ladyfox7oaks
Date:September 13th, 2007 11:02 pm (UTC)
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(Laughter- the best medicine...) >:P
[User Picture]
From:photog42
Date:September 14th, 2007 04:48 am (UTC)
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He'd have to have one of those really big 70's mustaches, à la Freddy Mercury.
[User Picture]
From:alberonn
Date:September 13th, 2007 08:46 pm (UTC)
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and here I was thinking it must be chuck toast.

*shrug*
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 13th, 2007 11:45 pm (UTC)
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Chuck, Chuck, bo-Buck, banana-fanna fo ... heeeyyyyy waitaminit...
[User Picture]
From:alberonn
Date:September 13th, 2007 11:48 pm (UTC)
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There was a guy that worked with me for a short time named Chuck.

It took all my self control not to constantly ask him "What's up Chuck?"
[User Picture]
From:jenneses
Date:September 13th, 2007 10:42 pm (UTC)
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I want your dad to adopt me, he's awesome!
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 13th, 2007 10:47 pm (UTC)
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There's actually a waiting list for that.

hahaha! :-)
[User Picture]
From:jenneses
Date:September 13th, 2007 10:58 pm (UTC)
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Figures, I must be 1154422th.
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 13th, 2007 11:47 pm (UTC)
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You should see the lists to get into his classes at the uni...
From:wildaspenrose
Date:September 14th, 2007 02:53 am (UTC)
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By the time I got to the bottom of the comments my cat not only left my lap, he left the room! He hates it when I make all those loud laughing noises! My thought on tofuck roast was it sounded like some kind of cross between a sexual fetish and a barbeque!
[User Picture]
From:mrsveteran
Date:September 14th, 2007 04:32 pm (UTC)
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Hahahaha! I was telling my dad about some of these comments, and he was just dying laughing. I think he laughed loudest at yours, "chuck toast," "Tofuckey," and "No, Mr. Bond: I want you to die."

Although he was also quite flattered at jenneses' adoption comment. :-)

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