mrsveteran (mrsveteran) wrote,


The annual company Halloween Party costume contest, that is. You see, after showing up the year before last as "Math Professor with a Pop Quiz" and flunking Satan at maths, I had a tough time thinking about what could possibly be scarier. I mean, come on -- math professor? With a quiz you hadn't studied for? In Base EIGHT?

Yeah, that's right baby: terrifying, I know.

After having won the costume contest the previous year with "Glambo" (nothing like a hot chick with an AK-47 to strike terror into the hearts of the evildoer), and having had to leave the party early (thus missing the contest I would surely have won) in the year of the Math Professor, I knew I had to come up with something even better. Even more terrifying!

I agonized over this for long and intense minutes.

And LOTS of 'em!

Really, though, my choice was clear: there's very little that frightens me more than Vice-Presidential-Candidate Sarah Palin -- unless it's "President Sarah Palin."

I'll pause here for a moment while those of you who agree with that image run screaming.

And so, girded with red jacket, flag pin, cheap reading glasses that, in one of the greatest ironies of all time, I picked up at the grocery store after early-voting for Obama, and beauty contestant sash reading "MISS MADAM PRESIDENT" (I was going to go with "Miss Diagnosed," but that, while funnier, wasn't nearly as scary), I advanced upon the unsuspecting partygoers.

Wanna see something REALLY scary?

Madam President

President Palin Closeup

As it turns out, there were two other Palins there, but neither of them were President. I got a great picture with the three of us doing "See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil" (thanks to banshree's awesome suggestion). I'll see if I can get their permission, and if so, I'll post it.

The little tiny pink ribbons you see stuck to me are not part of the costume: they are votes. Everyone got a little ribbon when they arrived at the party, and we had to pin the ribbon on the person we thought had the best costume. Later in the evening, all the votes were tallied and winners chosen.

When they asked how many ribbons I had, I said "All of them." And winked. I'd say about 40% of voters caught that, due to the number of people rolling on the floor laughing.

Shortly after the awarding of the prizes, Palin II poked me and asked, "Hey! How come YOU won and I didn't?" I looked her straight in the eye and said, "You're just Governor/VP Candidate Palin. I am President Palin. Therefore, I am the scariest motherfucker in the room." Of course, she had no choice but to agree.

We chatted for awhile and toyed with the idea of showing up at the real Palin's rally this evening, dressed in our Palin costumes, and wearing "Palins for Obama" sashes, but finally decided against it.

Thus, another year, another Halloween party, another terrifying entry, and another win for yours truly.

Just think of what I could do if I ever started thinking about my costume earlier than two days before the party!

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