October 14th, 2004
|08:32 am - Quotes, and Links, of the day|
This is what I remember about yesterday's presidential debate:
"It's against the law in the United States to hire people illegally." --John Kerry
Let me just pause for a moment, as we all stand in awe of that statement. "It's against the law to hire people ILLEGALLY."
Wow. I never would have thought that hiring someone illegally would be against the LAW. If Bush wins, he should really give Kerry that Cabinet post as head of the Department of Redundancy Department. It reminded me of JohnKerryIsADoucheBagButImVotingForHimAnyway.com.
On the Bush side, this is what I remember:
"Actually, Mitch McConnell had a minimum-wage plan that I supported that would have increased the minimum wage. But let me talk about ... (something completely different and unrelated since I'm totally unprepared to discuss minimum-wage)." -- George W. Bush
The President then went on to discuss education and "No Child Left Behind" and so forth and pretty much blew off the minimum wage thing altogether. Then Kerry went off on something else, also unrelated.
I tell you, folks, these debates are just RIPE for Mystery Science Theatre 3000 treatment.
Well, they're RIPE, anyway. Like month-old rotting corpse meat ripe.
Here's the transcript for those who've missed it. I should make parts of it a MadLib. Couldn't be much funnier and nonsensical than the real thing.
If I didn't have so many domains already, I'd register "WeAreSoScrewed.com". At the top, I'd put a banner that said, simply, "THE GRUMPY SISTERS ARE CALLING YOU OUT, MOTHERFUCKAAAAAAAAAH!"
EDIT: President Bush called me AGAIN today to make sure I knew that Nevada was an important state, and that I should vote early. Like in the debate, he wouldn't answer any of my questions, and when I asked, he just continued talking like he hadn't even heard me.
It was ALMOST like he was PRE-RECORDED. Like someone just fucking AUTO-DIALED my number to play a fucking RECORDING at me.
I hate election season so, SO very much.
Yeah, we're fucked. But honestly, did we think we'd get away from having to pay the bill for our stupidity forever?
I'm looking to find ways to yell "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" all the way down.
As for tv and election season, all I have to say is: thank the Gods both dark and light for TNG on DVD. ;)