In my day, we didn't HAVE operating system kernels, and we were damn glad to CARVE our emails on STONE TABLETS!!!
So, now, as I type this on my laptop, I have but one thing to say:
Oh God, oh God, oh dear GOD IN HEAVEN, if you have EVER loved me at all, PLEASE for the sake of all that is HOLY, give me a USB MOUSE!!!! I can't take this fricking touchpad anymore!!! And while you're at it, please, PLEASE, disable that fricking CAPS LOCK kEY THAT KEEPS GETTING stuck!!!