December 13th, 2008

army

Ducks and Moral Dilemmas

We name the ducks, sometimes. At the little park down the street where I live, there are two very small lakes (or very large ponds) which are the habitat of several flocks of ducks and geese. I've been feeding them periodically this year (mostly with sushirob and banshree, but sometimes with other friends), and along the way, some of them have acquired names.

The names aren't always limited to one duck, of course. There are several Baby Ducks, most of whom are this year's crop of duck children. I've watched them grow from fuzzy little chicks to their now-adult size, but they're still somewhat smaller than the other ducks and so, Baby Duck they remain.

There are also several Pretty Ducks, which are a beautiful taupe color. They're the females of a flock containing very interesting black and white ducks that showed up sometime this summer to join the normal mallard-type ducks that usually inhabit the park.

There's Mister Big Duck, a very large duck who will walk right up to you and grab food out of your hand like the Canadian geese do. There's AFLAC, a large, pure white duck that looks exactly like the one in the AFLAC commercials. No idea where he came from, but the poor guy probably lost his job in the recession and ended up in the park. It's obvious that he doesn't have the first clue about park living. (sushirob has referred to him as "Worst. Duck. Ever.") There's Mutant Goose, a Canadian Goose whose neck is white with black spots like a strange goose-dalmation cross. There's even a duck who showed up for the first time the last time we were at the park. She's quite beautiful and totally unlike all the other ducks. I decided call her "Onyxia" because I couldn't remember the name of the Swan Princess.

(Yes, I realize that Onyxia is a giant dragon and is nothing like a duck. Get off my back, man. Tell it to my subconscious!)

There's Tuggy Duck (who is, somewhat confusingly, also a Pretty Duck) who has learned that tugging on a human's jeans leg will get her more bread.

And, of course, Fucked-Up Duck.
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