I think a small book of spam poetry would be the greatest thing I've ever seen. The cover, in a rich burgandy. Because burgandy says "class" like no other color. The title would be in an attractive script, perhaps with a fleur de lys, for added class.

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I think "He of Mandarin" would be a great title for a book of poetry too.

Yes, you definitely need the fleur de lis.

And the title and so forth should be in gold leaf.

Hmmm....

I can see it now. First, I'll publish a book of spam poetry. Then, it'll become a bestseller, and I'll be a millionaire. Then, I will write and sell sleazy e-books on the Internet entitled, "Make Money Fast Through SPAM!" explaining how to write spam poetry for $$$$. I'll have a massive affiliate program with thousands of eager minions to do my bidding.

Soon, I shall CONQUER THE WORLD!!!

Um ....

You didn't hear any of that, by the way.

It'll just be our little secret.

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Ooh, gold leaf script. And the edges of the paper in gold, so that when it's closed, it looks even more fancy (as if that were possible, what with the fleur de lis).

It will be an awesome and spectacular feat of garbage pimpage, much like those people who make millions by selling "art" made by dogs or dolphins or elephants.

I was here. Today I say, I was here when it began.

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Don't forget the attached ribbon bookmark. Now that just SCREAMS "expensive must-have literature."

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