We briefly considered some of the Kong brand rubber dog toys, especially the one that came with a cannister of what looked like Cheez Whiz, but was apparently some amazingly nutritious peanut-buttery stuff that dogs love, and which you were supposed to squirt inside the dog toy in order to (as I understand it) drive the dog absolutely bug-fuck crazy trying to get it out. While the amusement value of this can hardly be underestimated, we decided to save the Kong brand Dog Whiz toy for another time.
Suddenly, across the aisle, nestled among various and sundry rawhide chew toys, I saw them.
"Um, honey," I said, tapping Charlie on the elbow, "is it just me, or does this seem like an incredibly bad idea?"
Charlie turned around, and I pointed to the very detailed and well-constructed set of what appeared to be rawhide baby shoes.
Complete with little rawhide shoelaces.
No, I am not kidding.
"Holy shit!" said Charlie, laughing. "Way to teach your dog to gnaw your children's feet off!"
"I mean, at BEST you're teaching the dog to eat people's shoes!" I said.
"Um, yeah," he agreed, "that does seem like a really bad idea."
Just then, a young mother came around the corner pushing what looked like a two-year-old in a stroller.
"Heeeeeere, Fluffy!" I whispered to Charlie, "Tasty FEET!"
The lady looked at us a bit strangely as we both absolutely broke up giggling, grabbed a set of non-baby-shoe-shaped dog bones, and ran up to the cashier.