July 29th, 2006
|10:56 am - Wall-to-wall what? Part II|
I think one of the reasons I hadn't bothered to even try to clean my office before was the overwhelming decision of where to begin. Should it be the pile of shoes reminiscent of Imelda Marcos collection? What about the piles of fabric, elastic, buttons, zippers, and so forth waiting to be made into garments that I never seemed to get time to make? The stacks and mountains of bills, bank statements, and medical insurance EOB's (many unopened)? The giant collection of books of all sorts?
And the closet: stacked high with boxes and books and shoes and clothes and old computers and God-knows-what! I didn't even want to think about the closet, which was good, in a way, because at the moment, I couldn't really even get to the closet, surrounded as it was by the aforementioned piles and stacks and mountains.
I gazed upon the wasteland in despair, until finally, my saving grace caught my eye!
I had a shredder.
The shredder would be the beginning! I would start with the bills and medical statements, and stacks of un-read papers stuffed every which way into the filing cabinet. I would go through them, shred what I didn't need, file what I did need, and go from there. Hell, just getting rid of 10 years of bank statements had to be a start! Plus, in order for Charlie to get me on his medical insurance, he needed a copy of our marriage license. I was sure I'd find one amongst the fifty thousand dead tree remains that filled the filing cabinet and various parts of the room. I even had a goal: find the marriage certificate. This was the place to start, indeed.
And so I did: start, that is. For the last year or so, I'd been piling stacks of stuff into the drawers of the filing cabinet. It was filled top-to-bottom with paperwork. I pulled out a giant stack from the top drawer, and started shredding. I pulled out files, labeled them neatly with "Medical" and "Pay stubs" and "Vehicles" and "Tax receipts" and "Pets" and a few other things.
For hours I filed and shredded and shredded and filed. I filled two giant garbage bags with the forlorn remains of "THIS IS NOT A CHECK" things that looked like checks but weren't, fake "YOU ARE PRE-APPROVED" things that looked like credit cards but weren't, invitations to refinance other people's homes, insurance coverage notices for insurance companies I hadn't patronized in years, payment books for student loans and paid-off vehicles -- I was on a roll!
Finally, I got through an entire filing cabinet stuffed full of paper. I was left with a set of neatly filed papers filling approximately one quarter of one drawer. I took a deep breath, sighed with relief, and looked around the office.
Unfortunately, since what I had been dealing with was stuff that had already been hidden by the filing cabinet, I was back to the same dilemma. An office that looked like the aftermath of an explosion in a thrift store, and no place to start.
I needed boxes or tubs or something, but what?
I then decided that there was nothing for it but to get some of those big Rubbermaid storage tubs. I could fill them with winter clothes, clothes that were too big (or too small), toys and memorabilia that I couldn't bear to part with but which I didn't need to have around for immediate use. I could then seal them and stick them in the storage shed. Excellent. Excellent!
So, I did what anyone would do in such a situation of dire need: I called sushirob. Shortly thereafter, we were off in search of tubs. I would later regret this trip, necessary though it was, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
The main mistake was going to Wal-Mart.
uh oh. Walmart is da debil. There's a time vortex inside the doors of that place. You go in for "a couple of things" and come out dazed and exhausted 3 hours later and a cartload of bags.
Next up..the SAGA of how MRS V and SushiRob got banned from Wal - Mart for LIFE.
How long did it take you to kill the shredder? Yes, I'm assuming you killed it cause I've killed three so far and refuse to believe I'm the only one.
Oh, and couldn't you just call and get them to mail you a copy of it?
Any post involving Wally World is sure to be exciting and dangerous.
Did you go to the gun counter as Glambo? Because that's something that Rob should catch on film.