mrsveteran (mrsveteran) wrote,

Danger is My Middle Name

All I wanted was to change a lightbulb. Just one -- the one over the stairs that go up to our bedroom. It had been burned out for months, making trips up and down the steps in the dark a bit ... err ... interesting, shall we say. (Especially when I'm on my way to let the dogs out and thus, have four thousand dogs running around my feet as I try to get down the stairs to the front door. Okay, it's only two dogs, but at five in the morning, on a dark stairway, they SEEM like four thousand.)

The thing is, the light is located directly over the stairs in a place that is almost completely impossible to use a step ladder or any kind of stool to get to the thing. Plus, it is maddeningly close (meaning that you can carefully stand on one of the steps and touch it) and yet too high to actually do anything with. After this much time, I had pretty much given up on that light ever being changed.

Until yesterday.

I had dragged Rob out to the Home Depot because I wanted to get some wire brushes to use in cleaning up some of the crystals and quartz pieces I'd gotten from our trip to the crystal mine. Since Rob wanted to look at storage kinds of things, and since the storage kinds of things were located right next to the lamps, I decided to go and look for a new desk lamp while Rob wandered through the next aisle.

It was there on an end-cap as I went to grab some spare bulbs for the little desk lamp I'd just picked up. A Cool-O Long-Arm Commercial Light-Bulb Change-O-Rama! I had walked right by it, but suddenly, I thought of that light over the stairs, and I went back for a closer look. "The Cool-O Long-Arm Commercial Light-Bulb Change-O-Rama can change any light bulb from candelabra to floodlights!" the packaging declared. "Adds over ELEVEN feet to your reach! Includes suction cup attachment for hard-to-reach track lighting!" The fine print read, "Buy this buy this buy this now you know you need it for that stupid light over the stairs so buy this BUY IT!!!"

At least, I think it did. It was too fine to read. I thought of that light over the stairs, and the wondrous promises made by the Cool-O Long-Arm Commercial Light-Bulb Change-O-Rama(tm), and I had to get it.

Rob, as he so often is, was skeptical. "I don't know," he said doubtfully, looking askance at the tool. "These infomercial things never work out like they're supposed to."

"But Rob, look," I said, "It's got all these different attachments! I could change out that light over the stairs! Hey, maybe we could even change out those lights in Dad's office that are waaaay up on the ceiling!"

"I just don't know," said Rob, still unconvinced, "I mean, do you really think this is going to work?"

"Sure it will!" I said confidently, "and even if it doesn't, it's worth 20 bucks to me to find out. I have GOT to get that stupid light over the stairs fixed."

Rob shrugged. "Hm. If it works, maybe I could get one for my mom," he said. Sure, he was willing to let me be the guinea pig, but hey, that's what friends are for, right?

We paid and left, with visions of light on the stairwell of doom dancing in my head. Ahh, this would be sweet! Yes indeed!

Unfortunately, when buying the Cool-O Long-Arm Commercial Light-Bulb Change-O-Rama(tm), I had forgotten one little thing. One crucial fact about the particular bulb that needed changing. This small detail was to cause no end of pain, sorrow, and contortions.

Blissfully unaware, we headed towards home.

[to be continued here]
Tags: danger is my middle name, light bulb, stories, sushirob

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