November 2nd, 2006
|09:42 am - Rocking the Boat ... I mean "Vote"|
"This political stuff is driving me crazy," I told Mom. "They're not even bothering to have real people call for polls anymore -- it's all just recorded crap like 'If you intend to vote for Joe Blow, press 1. If you intend to vote for Joe Blow's opponent, the baby-killing, hippie dope-fiend, press 2.'"
Mom sighed. "I know," she said. "I just hang up on them."
"They ought to make it so you can block political calls with the National Do Not Call List," I grumped. "You know, it's stuff like this that makes me wish I won MegaBucks or Powerball or something so I'd have enough money to run for office."
Mom whipped her head around and stared at me. "Absolutely NOT!" she declared. "I do not want you to EVER get into politics of ANY KIND!"
"But, Mom," I said, "It would be cool, don't you think? I'd be like, 'Yeah, I inhaled! And I did have sex with that woman ... errr ... man! And I think some babies are ugly! But I'm also not taking any special interest money because I won the damn LOTTERY!' It would be awesome!"
Mom would not be budged. "That is NOT a good place for you. That is NOT right for you, it's ugly and mean-spirited and I do not think you should even consider it," she told me firmly.
I tried the big guns. "But Mom, what if EVERY honest and ethical person with integrity felt that way, and said 'the heck with it' and didn't bother to run for office? Then what kind of government would we have?"
She just looked at me like I was crazy. There was silence for a moment.
"Oh," I said in a small voice. "Pretty much the one we have now, I guess."
We drove the rest of the way home in silence.
I can't wait for elections to be over.
Telemarketing is for those who dont have enough money to buy a script kiddie to hack the voting machines.
Really, I forsee a continuous battle where each side has to keep stealing the votes back and forth.
Do it! I call campaign manager!!
Ooh! OOH! And then, in the debate, when they start using the negative campaign stuff to impugn my character, I'll just go,
"I'm sorry you feel that way.
By the way, I flunked Satan too, you know."
Yes, that will show them you are tough on crime.
Ooh, excellent point!
Yes, yes, I think this whole political career thing is a splendid idea.
Now I just have to win the lottery...
|Date:||November 2nd, 2006 08:00 pm (UTC)|| |
I hung up on Arnold Schwazegger 15 minutes ago.
OK, it was probably a tape, but still. I HUNG UP ON DA GOVERNOR!
Heh. I'm so cool.
Yeah, you're OK as long as your name isn't Sarah Conner. ;)
A couple of years ago, I hung up on George W. Bush, Laura Bush, Barbara Bush, Barbara Vucanovich, Shawn Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and possibly the Pope.
Oh, and Arnold too.
They were awfully persistent in the Presidential election year.
As I recall, that was all in the same day, too.
Hehe, I got an email from Tony Blair... ok it was form letter. But I can honestly say I have the Prime Minster on my spam filter! Yeah, he's blocked!
Btw, I'd vote for you... assuming my vote counted for anything.
Part of my campaign platform will be the right for those of you in the 51st state to vote in all US elections.
And then, my friend, THEN!
You can vote for me.
Mom. Nail. Head.
But the "Brewster's Millions" thing does have it's appeal.
Doesn't it, though?
Yeah, I don't need the stress of running for office, but dammit, this country needs people like us (intelligent, ethical, etc) in government!
can i be the chief of staff that becomes corrupted by power?
Waitaminit ... you can run right now. Quick, everyone write in MrsV on your ballots! No matter what state or country you are in, VOTE MRSV!