November 2nd, 2006
|09:42 am - Rocking the Boat ... I mean "Vote"|
"This political stuff is driving me crazy," I told Mom. "They're not even bothering to have real people call for polls anymore -- it's all just recorded crap like 'If you intend to vote for Joe Blow, press 1. If you intend to vote for Joe Blow's opponent, the baby-killing, hippie dope-fiend, press 2.'"
Mom sighed. "I know," she said. "I just hang up on them."
"They ought to make it so you can block political calls with the National Do Not Call List," I grumped. "You know, it's stuff like this that makes me wish I won MegaBucks or Powerball or something so I'd have enough money to run for office."
Mom whipped her head around and stared at me. "Absolutely NOT!" she declared. "I do not want you to EVER get into politics of ANY KIND!"
"But, Mom," I said, "It would be cool, don't you think? I'd be like, 'Yeah, I inhaled! And I did have sex with that woman ... errr ... man! And I think some babies are ugly! But I'm also not taking any special interest money because I won the damn LOTTERY!' It would be awesome!"
Mom would not be budged. "That is NOT a good place for you. That is NOT right for you, it's ugly and mean-spirited and I do not think you should even consider it," she told me firmly.
I tried the big guns. "But Mom, what if EVERY honest and ethical person with integrity felt that way, and said 'the heck with it' and didn't bother to run for office? Then what kind of government would we have?"
She just looked at me like I was crazy. There was silence for a moment.
"Oh," I said in a small voice. "Pretty much the one we have now, I guess."
We drove the rest of the way home in silence.
Ooh, excellent point!
Yes, yes, I think this whole political career thing is a splendid idea.
Now I just have to win the lottery...