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January 29th, 2007

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07:48 am - Out of the Darkness
It's funny, isn't it, how sometimes, even when everything is really fine, a small misunderstanding can get blown so out of proportion that it seems impossible to overcome? You can look around and say, "Hey, I have a roof over my head, a job, medical insurance (if you can call it that), enough food to eat, a loving family, and so forth," and somehow it still just seems as though everything is hopeless and dark and none of that means much.

Then there's the ever popular, "Hey, look at all the people who have it worse than you!" Of course, this doesn't really do much more than make you feel guilty for being sad or depressed when others are so much worse off.

In a way, sometimes I think a simple, "Sucks to be you" is the most cheerful and cheering thing you can hear. It's somehow an acknowledgement and a validation of the fact that, yes, sometimes it does, in fact, suck to be me, and that the suckery is unrelated to surrounding actual circumstances or whether or not things are really going fine.

What all this comes down to, I suppose, is that while most of the time, I'm pretty much upbeat, there are times that I descend unwillingly into the depths of despair and depression. Personally, I blame hormones and brain chemistry, not to mention drug interactions or side-effects. I can look at things completely logically and know that there's no reason to be down, but unfortunately, those tricksy chemical reactions won't let the logic do its job. The last month or so has been spent trying to keep my head above water in a proverbial emotional sea, and I think I've reached the shore.


For those of you who've supported me through this whackery, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. For those of you who also suffer from depression from time to time, I'm posting this publicly and not friends-only just to say you're not alone.

Now. Did I ever tell you the story of my cat Pouncer and the "back rubs" trick?

(20 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:January 29th, 2007 05:58 pm (UTC)
What she said.

And *smack* You're supposed to email me or something when you feel like that. Never forget that again or I'm coming down there. *looks stern*

*falls over laughing*

Sorry, I tried to say it with a straight face.

I do mean it though. You have been there for me so many times I've lost count and if you don't let me return the favor I'll be really hurt and insulted. Seriously.
[User Picture]
Date:January 29th, 2007 10:46 pm (UTC)
I'll try to keep that in mind next time. You may regret the offer, though. heheh!
[User Picture]
Date:January 30th, 2007 12:40 am (UTC)
I never regret being there for a friend.

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