April 8th, 2007
|10:01 am - The Power of Suggestion|
"You need ID to buy those," the cashier at Raley's said as she rang up my fine-point Sharpie markers.
"Excuse me, what?" I replied, shaking my head a bit as if to clear out my ears.
"Yeah, you have to be 18," she went on, "it's a new thing. Because of the graffiti problem, you know."
I glanced at Dad. "Geez, shades of allergy medicine," I said. "At least they're not writing our names down in a log book for the DEA and taking our fingerprints. Yet."
Dad looked at me, then back at the cashier, flabbergasted. "You're kidding," Dad said. "You need to be over 18 to buy a Magic Marker now?"
"Oh, yes, even the little Crayola ones that wash off," the cashier confirmed solemnly.
Dad and I looked at each other again, shaking our heads, speechless. We stood there in silence as the cashier rang up the rest of our stuff.
"Paper or plastic?"
"Plastic," Dad replied.
We gathered up our groceries, including the potentially illicit Sharpies, and headed out of the store.
"You know what I want to do right now?" Dad asked, suddenly.
"I want to take those markers, and go grafitti something!" he exclaimed. "I have never, in my entire life, felt the slightest desire to grafitti anything, but now ... "
"Yeah, I know what you mean," I replied. "Hey, while we're at it, let's go make some crystal meth out of some allergy medicine!"
"Yeah," he agreed, laughing and shaking his head. "Sounds like a plan."
"Thank God for our government giving us these new entrepreneurial ideas, huh?"
We drove the rest of the way home, laughing and shaking our heads.
ETA: Thanks to the most awesome merri_chan for the killer icon for this post.
"FBI! We're here for your Sharpies! We have a warrant!"
"Um. You want the AK-47 too?"
"Naw, just give us your markers and you're free to go."
So does that make it illegal to buy sharpies for a minor?
Jesus, I didn't think of that. That puts a whole new light on parents buying their kids school supplies!
What the ever loving, nipple tweaking, shit eating, fucked up, incestuous bastard offspring of an anal retentive and a control freaking, FUCK! is you country coming to!
Sharpies are a controlled substance now!! What next?!
cardboard and paint??!! [can't make protest signs then!]
I think whipped cream/whipped-cream-like-dessert-topping in cans are controlled substances too. Maybe something about kids huffing them for the nitrous?
And don't get me started on over-the-counter allergy medicine.
Oh, and by the way, can I quote you on this?
"What the ever loving, nipple tweaking, shit eating, fucked up, incestuous bastard offspring of an anal retentive and a control freaking, FUCK! is your country coming to!"
'Cause that's like one of the best and most elegant sentences I've ever seen.
When the cops come for you, hide your glue! I'm sure you only keep it around for huffing. And mouthwash should always be kept under lock and key. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
And the cough medicine. Kids can drink a coupla bottles and hallucinate!!!
Wow. I made the cut when I bought my Sharpies late last year. *L*
So, what evil uses do you have for those Sharpies?
Well, I *was* going to use them to mark the places for wraps on the stones I make into jewelry, but now I think I may use them to graffiti "You must be 18 or over to purchase this marker" all over town.
And, as long as I'm at it, I might as well put up some other important protest messages like "STOP PLATE TECTONICS" and "DOWN WITH OHM'S LAW."
Or, I could just use them to mark places for wraps, and maybe when I have free time, draw a raccoon mask on my dog.
Hope you don't mind, I've friended you... :)
Carson City here... :)
Hey, welcome, the more the merrier! :-)
Carson? No kidding? Maybe we can actually get together for coffee or something sometime. My Grandma and my Aunt live in Carson. :-)
Small world, ain't it?
I'm sorry, but this is only fueling my obsession with Sharpies. I feel a trip to Staples coming on.
It's not worth PRISON! Think of the CHILDREN!